Monday, July 21, 2008
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Naughty Mail..*%*%*%%
A husband wrote the following letter for his wife and left it on the dining room table:
'To My Dear Wife. You will surely understand that I have certain needs thatyou, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you & I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending thel evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel.
Please don't be upset - I shall be home before midnight. 'When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table:
'My Dear Husband. I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity toremind you that you are also 54 years old.
As you know, I am a maths teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Marriot Hotel with Michael, one of my students. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old.
As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of Maths, you will understand that although it may appear that we are in the same situation, there is one mathematical difference: '18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.'
Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.
!@#$%^&*!@#$%^&*!@#$%^&!@#$%^&*
'To My Dear Wife. You will surely understand that I have certain needs thatyou, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you & I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending thel evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel.
Please don't be upset - I shall be home before midnight. 'When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table:
'My Dear Husband. I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity toremind you that you are also 54 years old.
As you know, I am a maths teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Marriot Hotel with Michael, one of my students. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old.
As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of Maths, you will understand that although it may appear that we are in the same situation, there is one mathematical difference: '18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.'
Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.
!@#$%^&*!@#$%^&*!@#$%^&!@#$%^&*
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Men Are Just Happier People--
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icy.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000; Tux rental-$100
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the times
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icy.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000; Tux rental-$100
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the times
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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