The Dawn of the Dusk

7th May, 2010 it was the day. Absence of the clattering thoughts and feelings made the morning quiet. The only unscheduled event marked on the Calendar, had to be honored on that day. As I crawled out of the bed indolently, I could hear familiar faint noises in the drawing room. I walked aimlessly and I kept telling myself “Today is the day”. Mystified would be apt, as the emotions have failed to single themselves out. It was one of the most difficult choices I ever had to make due to lack of options. In spite of widely discouraged by the world, I choose to stand by the minority.

To rebuild the ruins and bring back the grandeur, Phoenix, I chose to be. As I got into the mud to carve out a better future, not only I dirtied my hands, but also I had been called as the one with a black soul. Silently I screamed, but little did it create any impact. Desolate, Despondent and no one to shoulder, phoenix started to falter. As the pull of tentacles wound around me grew stronger, the ground beneath me became shaky.

I lived a bit too long to see myself as a villain. Realization dawned upon me, for it is the time now. I decided to chop off the forces that bound me and stand my ground. It was late in the evening when I went about the job unceremoniously. Though it was not the ideal way of execution, I did not find any resistance. I was neither in pain, nor happy as the emotions isolated me. I felt light as I walked out of those glass doors through which I will be passing for a finite number of times now.

Count Down has begun.

One Stop for One Liners...

' I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

' Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

' I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

' Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

' Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

' We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

' Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

' The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

' Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

' If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

' We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

' Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

' Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

' War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

' Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

' Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

' My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

' Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

' The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

' Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

' Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

' If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong...

' To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

' If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

' If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?

' A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..

' If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

' Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

' How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

' Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

' Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

' I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

' Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

' A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

' Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?

' I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian

' A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

' I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

' I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"

' The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

' Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

' God must love stupid people. He made SO many.

' Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

' The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

' Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.

' Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.

' Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

' A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

' Some people say "If you can't beat them, join them". I say "If you can't beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.

' Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

' You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

' The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

' The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

' Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

' Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.

' Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

' It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.

' Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

' He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.

' We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.

' A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

' My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

' Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

' Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

' I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

' I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

' When in doubt, mumble.

' Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.

' Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.

' Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

' My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

' Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

' A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

' Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.

' I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch.

' I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

' Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.

' I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.

' I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."

' There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

' When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

' I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

' I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.

' You're never too old to learn something stupid.

' Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

' You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.

' To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

' With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.

' A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.

' Virginity is like a soapbubble, one prick and it is gone.

' A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

' If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?

' If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!

' Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

' A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

' Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

' Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has never stepped on one.

' If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.

' Hallmark Card: "I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're still here."

' Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Women...

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon.

Women get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

The rarest thing in the world is a woman who is pleased with photographs of herself.

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute.

Be to her virtues very kind,Be to her faults a little blind.

They may talk of a comet, or a burning mountain, or some such bagatelle; but to me a modest woman, dressed out in all her finery, is the most tremendous object of the whole creation.

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

Men will always delight in a woman whose voice is lined with velvet.

Men really prefer reasonably attractive women; they go after the sensational ones to impress other men.

Women dress alike all over the world: they dress to be annoying to other women.

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat.

It is only rarely that one can see in a little boy the promise of a man, but one can almost always see in a little girl the threat of a woman.

All women are basically in competition with each other for a handful of eligible men.

Men look at themselves in mirrors. Women look for themselves.

What men desire is a virgin who is a whore.

There are three things men can do with women: love them, suffer for them, or turn them into literature.

A woman who cannot be ugly is not beautiful.

A man chases a woman until she catches him.

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.

Good-looking girls break hearts, and goodhearted girls mend them.

Fighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman's weapon is her tongue.

Women always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry about the things women remember.

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To All Those In & Out of Love...

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.

LOVE: We think about it, Sing about it, Dream about it && Loose sleep worrying about it. When we don't know we have it, we search for it. When we discover it, we don't know what to do with it. When we have it, we fear loosing it. It is the constant source of pleasure and pain. But we don't know which it will be from one moment to the next. It is a short word, easy to spell, difficult to define && IMPOSSIBLE to live without.

Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker

There is no surprise more magical than the surprise of being loved. It is God's finger on man's shoulder

Love has no desire but to fulfill itself. To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving.

Infatuation is when you think he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners. Love is when you realize that he's as sexy as Woody Allen, as smart as Jimmy Connors, as funny as Ralph Nader, as athletic as Henry Kissinger and nothing like Robert Redford - but you'll take him anyway.

The lover is a monotheist who knows that other people worship different gods but cannot himself imagine that there could be other gods.

Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and fans the bonfire.

The hours I spend with you I look upon as sort of a perfumed garden, a dim twilight, and a fountain singing to it. You and you alone make me feel that I am alive. Other men it is said have seen angels, but I have seen thee and thou art enough

The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but to hold hands.

When a man is in love or in debt, someone else has the advantage.

Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.

A bell is no bell 'til you ring it,A song is no song 'til you sing it,And love in your heartWasn’t put there to stay -Love isn’t love'Til you give it away

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.

Passion makes the world go round. Love just makes it a safer place.

Love is no respecter of age or practicalityNeither morality: unabashedShe enters where she willUnheeding that her immortal firesBurn up human hearts...

Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses

When you're in love you never really know whether your elation comes from the qualities of the one you love, or if it attributes them to her; whether the light which surrounds her like a halo comes from you, from her, or from the meeting of your sparks.

Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.

Love doesn't sit there like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all of the time, made new.

The saddest thing in the world, is loving someone who used to love you

There is a time for departure even when there's no certain place to go

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love

You wondered how you’d make it through. I wondered what was wrong with you. Because how could you give your love to someone else, yet share your dreams with me? Sometimes the only thing you’re looking for, is the one thing you can’t see.

Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing.

As soon as forever is through, I'll be over you

Listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye

"Tears are words the hard can't express

She taught me how to love, but not how to stop"

Breaking up is just like having the worst nightmare after having the best dream

Real loss only occurs when you lose something you love more than yourself

I hate the stars because I look at the same ones as you do, without you

I would give up everything for one moment with you; for one moment is better than a lifetime of not knowing you

Loving you was my favorite mistake

I'm afraid to love afraid to love so fast, because every time I fall in love it never seems to last

The worst feeling in the world is giving all the love you have and knowing it will never be returned

I gave you everything but it wasn't enough to make you stay

Every time I see him all cool, calm and collected, I lose my breath, my heart starts pounding, and I am painfully aware that I am not over him and he is over me

People think it's holding on that makes you stronger, but sometimes it's letting go"

Mama always said life was like a box a chocolates, never know what you're gonna get

Sometimes it's a form of love just to talk to somebody that you have nothing in common with and still be fascinated by their presence

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired

Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same

Love withers under constraints: its very essence is liberty: it is compatible neither with obedience, jealousy, nor fear: it is there most pure, perfect, and unlimited where its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserved

We don't believe in rheumatism and true love until after the first attack

True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen

All love is probationary, a fact which frightens women and exhilarates men

Poetry spills from the cracks of a broken heart, but flows from one which is loved.

A man is not where he lives, but where he loves

True love is a discipline in which each divines the secret self of the other and refuses to believe in the mere daily self

On a cloudy night, when nothing seems above, still, there is love. Always love. For something, from someone. It's never done

The heart has its reasons that reason knows nothing of.

And Finally…

You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving.


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Sardar & Co...

BomB and Sardar:
2 sardaron ko 2 bomb mile,
1st Sardar: chal police ko de k aate hain.
2 sardar: agar koi bomb raaste me phat gaya to?
1st sardar: jhoot bol denge ki 1 hi mila tha

Doctor And Sardar:
Sardar 2 doctr: Mujhe 1 problem hai
DR: Kya? Sardar: Baat karte waqt aadmi dikhai nahi deta
Dr: aisa kab hota hai?
Sardar: Phone karte waqt

Sardar and Mr.X
Mr.X: Sardar jee aap ko garmi lagti hai to kya karte ho?
Sardar: AC k paas ja k baith jata hun
Mr.X: Agar phir bhi garmi lage to?
Sardar: To A/C on kar leta hun

Sardar's Prayer:
A sardar prays daily for 2 hours, "He Vahe Guru meri lottery lagade."
After 11 years Vahe Guru angrily appeared & said,"Khoti de puttar 1 vari ticket to le le"

The real Sardar:
Ek sardar ki chatri me hole tha,
kisine pucha, umbrella me hole kyun?
Sardar bola, Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega

Sardar and Police:
Police: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phaasi di jayegi.
Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Police: Kyon hasn rahe ho?
Sardar: Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hun.

Sardar and Practical:
In bio practical:
Examiner: Tell me the name of this bird by seeing its legs only?
Sardar: I don't know.
Examiner: You r failed, what's your name?
Sardar: See my legs & tell my name

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