LAW OF QUEUE: : If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.
LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!
LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.
LAW OF TEA: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot tea, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the tea is cold.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Casual Day - Office Memos
A Company decides to adopt Fridays as Casual Day and they issued a Memo toall department intimating the same.
After Week 1 :
Memo 1: Effective this week, the company is adopting Fridays as Casual Day. Employees are free to dress in the casual attire of their choice.
Week 3
Memo 2: Spandex and leather micro-miniskirts are not appropriate attire for Casual Day.
Week 6
Memo 3: Casual Day refers to dress only, not attitude.
Week 8
Memo 4: A seminar on how to dress for Casual Day will be held at 4 p.m.Friday in the cafeteria. A fashion show will follow. Attendance is mandatory.
Week 9
Memo No. 5: As an outgrowth of Friday's seminar, a 14-member Casual DayTask Force has been appointed to prepare guidelines for proper casual-day dress.
Week 14
Memo 6: The Casual Day Task Force has distributed a 30-page manual entitled "Relaxing Dress Without Relaxing Company Standards." A copy has been distributed to every employee.
Week 18
Memo 7: Company is providing psychological counseling for employees who may be having difficulty adjusting to Casual Day.
Week 20
Memo 8: We are no longer able to effectively support or manage Casual Day. Casual Day is discontinued
After Week 1 :
Memo 1: Effective this week, the company is adopting Fridays as Casual Day. Employees are free to dress in the casual attire of their choice.
Week 3
Memo 2: Spandex and leather micro-miniskirts are not appropriate attire for Casual Day.
Week 6
Memo 3: Casual Day refers to dress only, not attitude.
Week 8
Memo 4: A seminar on how to dress for Casual Day will be held at 4 p.m.Friday in the cafeteria. A fashion show will follow. Attendance is mandatory.
Week 9
Memo No. 5: As an outgrowth of Friday's seminar, a 14-member Casual DayTask Force has been appointed to prepare guidelines for proper casual-day dress.
Week 14
Memo 6: The Casual Day Task Force has distributed a 30-page manual entitled "Relaxing Dress Without Relaxing Company Standards." A copy has been distributed to every employee.
Week 18
Memo 7: Company is providing psychological counseling for employees who may be having difficulty adjusting to Casual Day.
Week 20
Memo 8: We are no longer able to effectively support or manage Casual Day. Casual Day is discontinued
!@#$% Ladkiyaan !@#$%
Ladkiyan re Ladkiya . .
If v treat her nice she says "yaar mujhe line de raha hai"
If v dont she says "kitna akarta hai"
If v dress nicely she says "mujhe impress karna chahta hai"
If v dont she says "tasteless hai yaar"
If v argue with her she says "ziddi hai"
If v sit quietly she says "dumb hai"
If v act smarter she'll lose her brain as u r insulting her
If she acts smarter she thinks its her right
If v dont love her she says "is ka to pehle se hi 2,3 ladkiyon ka saath chakkar hai"
If v love her she says "peechhe hi pad gayaa hai"
If v dont tell her ur prob she says " u r not honest 2 me"
If u do tell to her she says "u r a problem child"
If v scold her she says "you act like a grandpa giving lecture"
If she scolds us she says "Yaar, its becoz i care"
If v break a promise she says "She does not trust u any more"
If she breaks she says "jaan main majboor thi....
Bechare Ladke itna sab sehke b chup chap rehte hai
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If v treat her nice she says "yaar mujhe line de raha hai"
If v dont she says "kitna akarta hai"
If v dress nicely she says "mujhe impress karna chahta hai"
If v dont she says "tasteless hai yaar"
If v argue with her she says "ziddi hai"
If v sit quietly she says "dumb hai"
If v act smarter she'll lose her brain as u r insulting her
If she acts smarter she thinks its her right
If v dont love her she says "is ka to pehle se hi 2,3 ladkiyon ka saath chakkar hai"
If v love her she says "peechhe hi pad gayaa hai"
If v dont tell her ur prob she says " u r not honest 2 me"
If u do tell to her she says "u r a problem child"
If v scold her she says "you act like a grandpa giving lecture"
If she scolds us she says "Yaar, its becoz i care"
If v break a promise she says "She does not trust u any more"
If she breaks she says "jaan main majboor thi....
Bechare Ladke itna sab sehke b chup chap rehte hai
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Philosophy of Life....
A Nice one...
Professor stood before his Philosophy class and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was .
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was .
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes' .
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
'The golf balls are the important things - your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
'The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car.
'The sand is everything else--the small stuff.
'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life. 'If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
'Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children.
'Take time to get medical checkups.
'Take your partner out to dinner.
'Play another 18.
'There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.
'Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter.
'Set your priorities.
'The rest is just sand.'
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled. 'I'm glad you asked.
'It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a cup of coffee with a friend.'
!@#$%^*!@#$%^&*!@#$%^&*
Professor stood before his Philosophy class and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was .
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was .
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes' .
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
'The golf balls are the important things - your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
'The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car.
'The sand is everything else--the small stuff.
'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life. 'If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
'Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children.
'Take time to get medical checkups.
'Take your partner out to dinner.
'Play another 18.
'There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.
'Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter.
'Set your priorities.
'The rest is just sand.'
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled. 'I'm glad you asked.
'It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a cup of coffee with a friend.'
!@#$%^*!@#$%^&*!@#$%^&*
WHAT KIND OF EMPLOYEE ARE YOU?
Aries Employee Profile
(MARCH 21 - APRIL 20)
Make excellent troubleshooters. They'll usually want to be out in the field at a variety of different work sites fixing things. They certainly won't be happy for very long behind a desk in a 9 to 5 schedule. The bored Aries employee who has been forced into a square hole will typically be restless, angry, and careless with details. No amount of money would compensate for being stuck in a routine job. Money in fact isn't why they are working at all. They do want to be paid fairly and need a status position to satisfy their competitive tendencies but even more importantly, they'll want challenging new projects. They typically like to have a sense of responsibility and need to feel needed. In return, they'll give their all and provide detailed, consistent work. They will literally work themselves to exhaustion to prove themselves. If you want to keep your Aries co-worker productive and happy, you'll want to give them the opportunity to work independently or let them help and lead less experienced workers.
Taurus Employee Profile
(APRIL 21 - MAY 21)
Taureans make some of the best employees. They are loyal, hardworking, and no nonsense. They work methodically and follow projects through until they are complete. Some may appear to work a little too slowly-usually because they are so careful-but they will always finish what they start. They thrive on structure, schedules, and routine. You'll find them doing the same exact thing at the same time every day. Taureans, however, are not exactly the malleable workers that they often appear to be. If they have to work in a chaotic environment, they won't be happy and will be prone to child-like temper tantrums and stubbornness. They might react similarly if they have to work around ignorant people or at a job where there is no obvious potential for advancement. Taureans will be very unhappy if there isn't a ladder for them to climb. Even in the worst situations, they will find a way to advance slowly, winning over the most difficult people who may stand in their way of progress. Taurus employees will only take so much patiently and happily before they feel they are being taken advantage of. They will gladly accept orders and do whatever dirty work needs to get done, but they expect rewards. They want material gain, salary increases, and the potential for more power. To make your Taurus employees happy, be sure to give them projects through which they will see tangible results-hopefully something that will allow them to express their unique creativity in addition to their practical side. They don't want to feel mired in details for long periods of time. Make sure to schedule regular performance and salary reviews. This show of respect should keep them loyal to the company.
Gemini Employee Profile
(MAY 22 - JUNE 21)
Gemini employees can have difficulty concentrating on one thing for long periods of time. They have quick-moving minds and love to talk and communicate their ideas with others. They thrive on social interaction even if their jobs don't particularly support it. You'll be able to find them wandering from desk to desk gossiping about all the sordid news in the office. They can be powerful persuaders in their speech and make ideal salespeople and mediators. They love to negotiate and can work out the best Deal for everyone involved. When properly stimulated, they can manage to keep their wandering mind focused and actually be quite productive. When they are bored, bogged down with mundane detail-work, or forced to work with people who they consider droll, they can become mean-spirited and gossipy. Their moods can fluctuate vastly day to day, as well as their productivity. It is really against their nature to be forced into an average workday schedule and environment. They are happier traveling. If they are in an office they will need constant new stimulation. Most will be wanting advancement if they see this as a way to escape the limitations of their jobs. This can motivate them to put extra effort into their job. If you work with a Gemini, try to avoid getting into any debates with them - they will surely win and it could end in some hard feelings on your part. They will need an accepting environment-one that supports their need for multi-tasking.
Cancer Employee Profile
(JUNE 22 - JULY 22)
The Cancer employee isn't at work to feed their ego, their job is just a job and a means to get paid. They work steadily and are usually very reliable. You'll be able to depend on them to show up on time and do what is necessary. They won't get involved in power struggles or get upset when someone advances before them. They are able to accept the situation because they see it simply as a rung on the ladder up. Their motivation is security. They'll want more money the longer they've stayed at a job. They don't want to have to worry about how they'll make ends meet tomorrow so they'll need a stable position without much risk. Cancerian workers can slip into some dark moods on occasion. During these periods productivity tends to drop-as well as everyone else's in the office. Their moods can be so strong everyone becomes affected. To avoid the frequency of these occurrences, managers and co-workers should try to make the work environment as homey as possible-keep it well heated, cozy, and friendly. Don't press them to reveal their true inner thoughts-their tendency is to be secretive and protective, and they could see prying as an attempt to disturb their security.
Leo Employee Profile
(JULY 23 - AUGUST 21)
Leo workers want to be first and at the center of the office. Even if they can't lead, they'll look for every opportunity to increase their own status -- and if someone else seems ahead of them, look out. They will make it clear that they aren't happy by pouting and complaining. They want advancement so much that they'll take on more responsibility and carry a heavier load than anyone else does in the office. And they are self-promoters. It is likely that they are telling everyone in the office what a great job they are doing as well as giving everyone unwanted advice. They know they are superior and want everyone to know it as well. This arrogance can sometimes cause problems when working with management. But typically, they are just hard workers out to demonstrate just how good they really are. They thrive in sales positions - they can promote a product or company just as well as they promote themselves. Their strength and arrogance isn't just show either. In a crisis situation, Leos really demonstrate their true courage. Leos want to lead and will be pushing for more responsibility and rewards. They are happy to train and mentor new co-workers as they enjoy giving advice and being in positions of authority. If you are trying to manage a Leo employee, you'll need to give them plenty of praise, responsibility, and independence. They will certainly want to help lighten your load of management responsibilities. Just be careful- the next thing you know they could be taking over your job.
Virgo Employee Profile
(AUGUST 22 - SEPTEMBER 23)
In the right situations Virgos love to work. They make ideal employees, happily working late into the night to make sure everything is perfect and in order. If you are looking for an employee who doesn't mind starting from rock bottom in the most entry-level position at the company, hire a Virgo. They'll have no complaints about the position being beneath them. They are CONTENT with basic, honest hard work. Their contentment isn't always apparent, however. They love to complain and worry. They are quick to criticize the way things are done around the office and are the first ones to grumble disapprovingly at what they consider to be extravagance or laziness. They are blunt and honest and don't mince words over what they feel just isn't right. Usually, this will be brought on by someone doing a half-baked job or not being considerate of other co-workers. You'll want to constantly reassure them, but this will do little to quell their anxieties. They actually enjoy worrying, and there is little you can do about it. Just give them a detail - oriented project and let them work alone on it. You won't have to supervise a Virgo worker. They'll check all the facts before getting started and catch their own errors when they are done. To keep a Virgo employee happy, you should also make sure their environment is orderly and calm. You should also provide small gestures of appreciation. They don't need extravagance, just let them know you appreciate them in small ways that won't embarrass them. They will probably just shrug their shoulders and say, "It's no big deal." But deep down inside they need these little reassurances.
Libra Employee Profile
(SEPTEMBER 24 - OCTOBER 23)
Libra employees are detailed, dedicated workers with sensitive natures. Managers and co-workers sometimes find them difficult to get a handle on. They pick up the energy of the office and are unable to prevent it from affecting them. Loud noise, flashy colors, and discordant vibrations will put them off so much that they will have
difficulty fulfilling their obligations at work. One day they may seem like the most bright, hardworking, ambitious employee around. The next day they might be down, irritated, and unable to produce. Co-workers shouldn't fret when Libra employees are in a dark mood. It really won't last, as a happy state of mind can come over them just as quickly. When Libra employees are in a balanced frame of mind, they can be a powerful presence at work-they have a way of gracing everything they touch. Underneath that mess of moods, they really are basically happy and stable people. They are capable of profound logical thought and evaluate all sides of a situation before acting. They are one of the most intelligent Signs around. They are expert researchers and mediators. And their sensitivity to their environment makes them naturals at keeping things looking great. They will easily help others resolve conflicts and can act as a go-between with workers and management so that everyone ends up happy. If you want to keep your Libran worker smiling, give them the respect they are due and put them in a position where they can project their great charm and diplomacy. They won't be CONTENT to take orders for very long, either-make sure they are given increased responsibility.
Scorpio Employee Profile
(OCTOBER 24 - NOVEMBER 22)
Scorpio employees usually exude a quiet self-confidence. They are self-sufficient and do not depend on others for a sense of self-worth. They keep their private life separate from work and take complete responsibility for their actions and their situation. They don't make excuses; they just take care of business and expect everyone else to do the same. Those who don't, co-workers and managers- will have to endure the Scorpio wrath. They don't mind being completely vocal about what they feel is wrong with any given situation. And if you tread on their fire be sure to expect retaliation. They won't take insults or opposition lying down. If you manage a Scorpio employee, be sure to follow through with your word and don't break any promises-Scorpio is keeping track and building up some heavy resentments against you if you do. You may not even be aware of it until too late-but when Scorpio gets too much, you'll be sure to know. Scorpio employees will react towards those around them exactly as they are treated. When they get what they want, they will be very accepting. If you are trying to work with or motivate a Scorpio co-worker, be sure to treat them respectfully and act professionally. Give them challenging work that allows them to utilize their awesome self-confidence and courage.
Sagittarius Employee Profile
(NOVEMBER 23 - DECEMBER 22)
The Sagittarian employee is head strong, cheerful, and willing to help. They exude self-confidence and take on tasks like there's no tomorrow. They are willing to tackle even the toughest of projects as long as it is challenging and gets them out of the routine. Lucky for them, their shining personalities and honest enthusiasm seem like a bright spot in the office otherwise co-workers might begin to build animosity towards someone so arrogant and extravagant. Their tendency to exaggerate and take on more then they can handle usually results in missed deadlines and dropping the ball-not because they are lazy of procrastinate, but because their enthusiasm just gets the better of them sometimes. Don't let their nonchalance fool you-they really do care about what they are doing. They just have an easy-going attitude that allows them to keep on smiling even when they just messed up big time. Just because they are flexible and easy-going doesn't mean they won't tell you exactly how they feel-what is working for them and what isn't. And they won't just blindly take orders they need to understand the method and reason behind the process. If you are trying to motivate your Sagittarian employee, be sure to feed them plenty of challenging new projects and hint that some business trips might be on the horizon once deadlines are met. And whatever you do, try not to question their intentions it is the quickest way to make them upset. They aren't capable of deceit.
Capricorn Employee Profile
(DECEMBER 23 - JANUARY 20)
A Capricorn employee with too much to do is a happy worker. They need plenty of projects and responsibility. There is no sadder sight than a Capricorn worker without a sense of responsibility. They need to be needed. They are covertly ambitious - usually not flashy or obvious about it-but you will usually know that they are serious and determined about advancing themselves. They are completely scrupulous, so much so that they can be self-disparaging. But they are no pushovers. They can wear down even the toughest customers. Their persistence is incredible. Once they set their sights on a goal, they work away at it until the bitter end-whether the goal be that hard sell or the new hardware release. Capricorns don't work for free, however. They expect to be paid handsomely and be given more and more responsibility. They need to come out ahead of the pack in the end, and they see the work environment as their primary vehicle. They won't go in for the typical office gossip and politics, though. They want to get down to business at work and see it as no place for fooling around. With a strong sense of duty and respect towards their superiors, it is rare they will join in on boss-bashing or knocking the system. They can get frustrated, however, with blue sky management schemes that lack common sense, and they will interject their dry sense of humor in the most critical ways. If they want change, they will be unyielding. If all their effort
leads to naught the result will be deep moods of darkness and depression with a sense of hopelessness. Keep your Capricorn employee happy by paying them fairly and giving them plenty of hard work. Arrange for a path of advancement within your organization for them. If you don't, you might find them looking for other opportunities.
Aquarius Employee Profile
(JANUARY 21 - FEBRUARY 19)
The Aquarius employee can't tolerate unfairness in the office. Hair brained schemes will get the positive attention they deserve if an Aquarian has anything to do with it. They'll try to help everyone see the good side of a bad situation if it's the last thing that they do. They are so smart-they can't help but hold management in disdain if they feel that they are being unfair and unintelligent. It isn't that they are overly ambitious and think they could be doing a better job- just that they think people in power should know better. Most Aquarius workers are still looking for themselves and will want to try their hand at a variety of jobs in the workplace. Whatever they are doing, they will do conscientiously. They usually have strict personal codes that include a strong work ethic. Their bright, off-beat intelligence, and trustworthiness will typically gain them many friends-in and out of work. Beneath that sometimes odd-ball behavior is solid, concrete thinking and sensitivity to co-workers. Keep your smart Aquarius co-worker happy by giving them plenty of opportunity to learn news kills. Raises are less important to them. No amount of money will make it worth their while to stay in a stagnant position. Don't let them get too bored or they will simply find another job as easily as they found this one-their genius is easy to spot.
Pisces Employee Profile
(FEBRUARY 19 - MARCH 20)
The Pisces employee can be a loyal and hard-working, if unconventional, worker. In the right position, they are able to keep their daydreams in check and buckle down on the detail work-giving their all to the boss and corporation whom they feel are worthy of devotion. On the flip side, there is no image of extreme misery like that of an ill-placed Pisces worker. They will act as though their cubicle were a prison cell as they daydream of their own business or next vacation. Unhappy Pisces workers usually won't stick around too long. Often Pisceans will drift from one job to another looking for that ideal environment to which they will be able to commit and feel a sense of purpose. And if things are going in a bad direction at the office, Pisces will be the first to sense it. They'd rather pick up and leave then wait until the problem reaches a head. Pisces are often misunderstood by their co-workers. Typically timid and introspective, they usually keep their true nature hidden, for fear it wouldn't fit with the corporate culture. What motivates a Pisces employee to not only stick around but also excel? Try compliments. And show them how their work impacts the entire organization. They need to know that what they are doing is worth something on a grander scale. Acceptance of their unconventional organization and planning will be necessary. Just because their sales report isn't in the typical format doesn't mean it is any less effective. Keep their environment bright and upbeat; and an after-work cocktail wouldn't hurt.
(MARCH 21 - APRIL 20)
Make excellent troubleshooters. They'll usually want to be out in the field at a variety of different work sites fixing things. They certainly won't be happy for very long behind a desk in a 9 to 5 schedule. The bored Aries employee who has been forced into a square hole will typically be restless, angry, and careless with details. No amount of money would compensate for being stuck in a routine job. Money in fact isn't why they are working at all. They do want to be paid fairly and need a status position to satisfy their competitive tendencies but even more importantly, they'll want challenging new projects. They typically like to have a sense of responsibility and need to feel needed. In return, they'll give their all and provide detailed, consistent work. They will literally work themselves to exhaustion to prove themselves. If you want to keep your Aries co-worker productive and happy, you'll want to give them the opportunity to work independently or let them help and lead less experienced workers.
Taurus Employee Profile
(APRIL 21 - MAY 21)
Taureans make some of the best employees. They are loyal, hardworking, and no nonsense. They work methodically and follow projects through until they are complete. Some may appear to work a little too slowly-usually because they are so careful-but they will always finish what they start. They thrive on structure, schedules, and routine. You'll find them doing the same exact thing at the same time every day. Taureans, however, are not exactly the malleable workers that they often appear to be. If they have to work in a chaotic environment, they won't be happy and will be prone to child-like temper tantrums and stubbornness. They might react similarly if they have to work around ignorant people or at a job where there is no obvious potential for advancement. Taureans will be very unhappy if there isn't a ladder for them to climb. Even in the worst situations, they will find a way to advance slowly, winning over the most difficult people who may stand in their way of progress. Taurus employees will only take so much patiently and happily before they feel they are being taken advantage of. They will gladly accept orders and do whatever dirty work needs to get done, but they expect rewards. They want material gain, salary increases, and the potential for more power. To make your Taurus employees happy, be sure to give them projects through which they will see tangible results-hopefully something that will allow them to express their unique creativity in addition to their practical side. They don't want to feel mired in details for long periods of time. Make sure to schedule regular performance and salary reviews. This show of respect should keep them loyal to the company.
Gemini Employee Profile
(MAY 22 - JUNE 21)
Gemini employees can have difficulty concentrating on one thing for long periods of time. They have quick-moving minds and love to talk and communicate their ideas with others. They thrive on social interaction even if their jobs don't particularly support it. You'll be able to find them wandering from desk to desk gossiping about all the sordid news in the office. They can be powerful persuaders in their speech and make ideal salespeople and mediators. They love to negotiate and can work out the best Deal for everyone involved. When properly stimulated, they can manage to keep their wandering mind focused and actually be quite productive. When they are bored, bogged down with mundane detail-work, or forced to work with people who they consider droll, they can become mean-spirited and gossipy. Their moods can fluctuate vastly day to day, as well as their productivity. It is really against their nature to be forced into an average workday schedule and environment. They are happier traveling. If they are in an office they will need constant new stimulation. Most will be wanting advancement if they see this as a way to escape the limitations of their jobs. This can motivate them to put extra effort into their job. If you work with a Gemini, try to avoid getting into any debates with them - they will surely win and it could end in some hard feelings on your part. They will need an accepting environment-one that supports their need for multi-tasking.
Cancer Employee Profile
(JUNE 22 - JULY 22)
The Cancer employee isn't at work to feed their ego, their job is just a job and a means to get paid. They work steadily and are usually very reliable. You'll be able to depend on them to show up on time and do what is necessary. They won't get involved in power struggles or get upset when someone advances before them. They are able to accept the situation because they see it simply as a rung on the ladder up. Their motivation is security. They'll want more money the longer they've stayed at a job. They don't want to have to worry about how they'll make ends meet tomorrow so they'll need a stable position without much risk. Cancerian workers can slip into some dark moods on occasion. During these periods productivity tends to drop-as well as everyone else's in the office. Their moods can be so strong everyone becomes affected. To avoid the frequency of these occurrences, managers and co-workers should try to make the work environment as homey as possible-keep it well heated, cozy, and friendly. Don't press them to reveal their true inner thoughts-their tendency is to be secretive and protective, and they could see prying as an attempt to disturb their security.
Leo Employee Profile
(JULY 23 - AUGUST 21)
Leo workers want to be first and at the center of the office. Even if they can't lead, they'll look for every opportunity to increase their own status -- and if someone else seems ahead of them, look out. They will make it clear that they aren't happy by pouting and complaining. They want advancement so much that they'll take on more responsibility and carry a heavier load than anyone else does in the office. And they are self-promoters. It is likely that they are telling everyone in the office what a great job they are doing as well as giving everyone unwanted advice. They know they are superior and want everyone to know it as well. This arrogance can sometimes cause problems when working with management. But typically, they are just hard workers out to demonstrate just how good they really are. They thrive in sales positions - they can promote a product or company just as well as they promote themselves. Their strength and arrogance isn't just show either. In a crisis situation, Leos really demonstrate their true courage. Leos want to lead and will be pushing for more responsibility and rewards. They are happy to train and mentor new co-workers as they enjoy giving advice and being in positions of authority. If you are trying to manage a Leo employee, you'll need to give them plenty of praise, responsibility, and independence. They will certainly want to help lighten your load of management responsibilities. Just be careful- the next thing you know they could be taking over your job.
Virgo Employee Profile
(AUGUST 22 - SEPTEMBER 23)
In the right situations Virgos love to work. They make ideal employees, happily working late into the night to make sure everything is perfect and in order. If you are looking for an employee who doesn't mind starting from rock bottom in the most entry-level position at the company, hire a Virgo. They'll have no complaints about the position being beneath them. They are CONTENT with basic, honest hard work. Their contentment isn't always apparent, however. They love to complain and worry. They are quick to criticize the way things are done around the office and are the first ones to grumble disapprovingly at what they consider to be extravagance or laziness. They are blunt and honest and don't mince words over what they feel just isn't right. Usually, this will be brought on by someone doing a half-baked job or not being considerate of other co-workers. You'll want to constantly reassure them, but this will do little to quell their anxieties. They actually enjoy worrying, and there is little you can do about it. Just give them a detail - oriented project and let them work alone on it. You won't have to supervise a Virgo worker. They'll check all the facts before getting started and catch their own errors when they are done. To keep a Virgo employee happy, you should also make sure their environment is orderly and calm. You should also provide small gestures of appreciation. They don't need extravagance, just let them know you appreciate them in small ways that won't embarrass them. They will probably just shrug their shoulders and say, "It's no big deal." But deep down inside they need these little reassurances.
Libra Employee Profile
(SEPTEMBER 24 - OCTOBER 23)
Libra employees are detailed, dedicated workers with sensitive natures. Managers and co-workers sometimes find them difficult to get a handle on. They pick up the energy of the office and are unable to prevent it from affecting them. Loud noise, flashy colors, and discordant vibrations will put them off so much that they will have
difficulty fulfilling their obligations at work. One day they may seem like the most bright, hardworking, ambitious employee around. The next day they might be down, irritated, and unable to produce. Co-workers shouldn't fret when Libra employees are in a dark mood. It really won't last, as a happy state of mind can come over them just as quickly. When Libra employees are in a balanced frame of mind, they can be a powerful presence at work-they have a way of gracing everything they touch. Underneath that mess of moods, they really are basically happy and stable people. They are capable of profound logical thought and evaluate all sides of a situation before acting. They are one of the most intelligent Signs around. They are expert researchers and mediators. And their sensitivity to their environment makes them naturals at keeping things looking great. They will easily help others resolve conflicts and can act as a go-between with workers and management so that everyone ends up happy. If you want to keep your Libran worker smiling, give them the respect they are due and put them in a position where they can project their great charm and diplomacy. They won't be CONTENT to take orders for very long, either-make sure they are given increased responsibility.
Scorpio Employee Profile
(OCTOBER 24 - NOVEMBER 22)
Scorpio employees usually exude a quiet self-confidence. They are self-sufficient and do not depend on others for a sense of self-worth. They keep their private life separate from work and take complete responsibility for their actions and their situation. They don't make excuses; they just take care of business and expect everyone else to do the same. Those who don't, co-workers and managers- will have to endure the Scorpio wrath. They don't mind being completely vocal about what they feel is wrong with any given situation. And if you tread on their fire be sure to expect retaliation. They won't take insults or opposition lying down. If you manage a Scorpio employee, be sure to follow through with your word and don't break any promises-Scorpio is keeping track and building up some heavy resentments against you if you do. You may not even be aware of it until too late-but when Scorpio gets too much, you'll be sure to know. Scorpio employees will react towards those around them exactly as they are treated. When they get what they want, they will be very accepting. If you are trying to work with or motivate a Scorpio co-worker, be sure to treat them respectfully and act professionally. Give them challenging work that allows them to utilize their awesome self-confidence and courage.
Sagittarius Employee Profile
(NOVEMBER 23 - DECEMBER 22)
The Sagittarian employee is head strong, cheerful, and willing to help. They exude self-confidence and take on tasks like there's no tomorrow. They are willing to tackle even the toughest of projects as long as it is challenging and gets them out of the routine. Lucky for them, their shining personalities and honest enthusiasm seem like a bright spot in the office otherwise co-workers might begin to build animosity towards someone so arrogant and extravagant. Their tendency to exaggerate and take on more then they can handle usually results in missed deadlines and dropping the ball-not because they are lazy of procrastinate, but because their enthusiasm just gets the better of them sometimes. Don't let their nonchalance fool you-they really do care about what they are doing. They just have an easy-going attitude that allows them to keep on smiling even when they just messed up big time. Just because they are flexible and easy-going doesn't mean they won't tell you exactly how they feel-what is working for them and what isn't. And they won't just blindly take orders they need to understand the method and reason behind the process. If you are trying to motivate your Sagittarian employee, be sure to feed them plenty of challenging new projects and hint that some business trips might be on the horizon once deadlines are met. And whatever you do, try not to question their intentions it is the quickest way to make them upset. They aren't capable of deceit.
Capricorn Employee Profile
(DECEMBER 23 - JANUARY 20)
A Capricorn employee with too much to do is a happy worker. They need plenty of projects and responsibility. There is no sadder sight than a Capricorn worker without a sense of responsibility. They need to be needed. They are covertly ambitious - usually not flashy or obvious about it-but you will usually know that they are serious and determined about advancing themselves. They are completely scrupulous, so much so that they can be self-disparaging. But they are no pushovers. They can wear down even the toughest customers. Their persistence is incredible. Once they set their sights on a goal, they work away at it until the bitter end-whether the goal be that hard sell or the new hardware release. Capricorns don't work for free, however. They expect to be paid handsomely and be given more and more responsibility. They need to come out ahead of the pack in the end, and they see the work environment as their primary vehicle. They won't go in for the typical office gossip and politics, though. They want to get down to business at work and see it as no place for fooling around. With a strong sense of duty and respect towards their superiors, it is rare they will join in on boss-bashing or knocking the system. They can get frustrated, however, with blue sky management schemes that lack common sense, and they will interject their dry sense of humor in the most critical ways. If they want change, they will be unyielding. If all their effort
leads to naught the result will be deep moods of darkness and depression with a sense of hopelessness. Keep your Capricorn employee happy by paying them fairly and giving them plenty of hard work. Arrange for a path of advancement within your organization for them. If you don't, you might find them looking for other opportunities.
Aquarius Employee Profile
(JANUARY 21 - FEBRUARY 19)
The Aquarius employee can't tolerate unfairness in the office. Hair brained schemes will get the positive attention they deserve if an Aquarian has anything to do with it. They'll try to help everyone see the good side of a bad situation if it's the last thing that they do. They are so smart-they can't help but hold management in disdain if they feel that they are being unfair and unintelligent. It isn't that they are overly ambitious and think they could be doing a better job- just that they think people in power should know better. Most Aquarius workers are still looking for themselves and will want to try their hand at a variety of jobs in the workplace. Whatever they are doing, they will do conscientiously. They usually have strict personal codes that include a strong work ethic. Their bright, off-beat intelligence, and trustworthiness will typically gain them many friends-in and out of work. Beneath that sometimes odd-ball behavior is solid, concrete thinking and sensitivity to co-workers. Keep your smart Aquarius co-worker happy by giving them plenty of opportunity to learn news kills. Raises are less important to them. No amount of money will make it worth their while to stay in a stagnant position. Don't let them get too bored or they will simply find another job as easily as they found this one-their genius is easy to spot.
Pisces Employee Profile
(FEBRUARY 19 - MARCH 20)
The Pisces employee can be a loyal and hard-working, if unconventional, worker. In the right position, they are able to keep their daydreams in check and buckle down on the detail work-giving their all to the boss and corporation whom they feel are worthy of devotion. On the flip side, there is no image of extreme misery like that of an ill-placed Pisces worker. They will act as though their cubicle were a prison cell as they daydream of their own business or next vacation. Unhappy Pisces workers usually won't stick around too long. Often Pisceans will drift from one job to another looking for that ideal environment to which they will be able to commit and feel a sense of purpose. And if things are going in a bad direction at the office, Pisces will be the first to sense it. They'd rather pick up and leave then wait until the problem reaches a head. Pisces are often misunderstood by their co-workers. Typically timid and introspective, they usually keep their true nature hidden, for fear it wouldn't fit with the corporate culture. What motivates a Pisces employee to not only stick around but also excel? Try compliments. And show them how their work impacts the entire organization. They need to know that what they are doing is worth something on a grander scale. Acceptance of their unconventional organization and planning will be necessary. Just because their sales report isn't in the typical format doesn't mean it is any less effective. Keep their environment bright and upbeat; and an after-work cocktail wouldn't hurt.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Which was better, the former or the latter???
- Pocket money from Dad was Rs. 200/- per month, in that we were not only able to eat stomachs fill, but we were able to save too!!!
Now we earn a sum of more than 20K, we have no idea where it goes, let alone saving it!! - 6 subjects per year, 6 different teachers! One project since we joined and just one manager!!
We used to make notes; we used to study for ranks!! Now we scan thru our mails; we struggle for our ratings!!! - We have still not forgotten the people in the next section!!! Now we don't even know who sits in the next cubicle!!!
After getting back from a tiring play, we used to do our home work!! Now who knows/cares about home; all we do is just work!!! - We knew our history and economics!! Now let alone reading books, we don't even catch up with the daily news!!!
We had an aim in life; backed by our teachers!! Now we have no idea about the future nor do we find any one who would tell us anything!!!
Now just ask yourself,
Which was better, the former or the latter????
What those words on yearly performance review Really Mean!?!
- Outgoing Personality - Always going out of Office
- Great Presenatation skills - Able to Bullshit
- Good Communication - Spends a lot of time on Phone
- Work is first Priority - Too ugly to get a date
- Active Socially - Drinks a Lot
- Independent Worker - Nobody know what he/she does
- Quick Thinking - Offers Plausible excuses
- Careful Thinker - Won't make a decision
- Uses Logic on Difficult jobs - Gets someone else do it
- Expresses themselves well - Speaks English
- Meticulous Attention to Detail - A nit Picker
- Has Leadership Qualities - Is Tall or has a Louder voice
- Exceptionally Good Judgement - Lucky
- Kenn Sense of Humour - Knows a lot of Dirty Jokes
- Career Minded - Back Stabber
- Loyal - Can't get a job anywhere else
- Plans for Promotion/Advancement - Buys drinks for all the boys
- Of Great Value to the Organisation - Gets to work on time
- Relaxed Attitude - Sleeps at Desk.
!@#$%^&*??*&^%$#@!!@#$%^&*??*&^%$#@!!@#$%^&*??*&^%
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Monday, June 9, 2008
Management Lessons
Lesson Number 1:
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long? The crow answered: "Sure, why not." so, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Learning:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sittingvery, very high up.
Lesson Number 2:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy. "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?"replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Management Learning:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson Number 3:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird frozen and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was.
The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay thereall warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing catheard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!
Management Learning:
1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is yourfriend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!
Lesson Number 4:
The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along, they passed some people who remarked "it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding". The man and boy thought may be the critics were right, so they changed positions.
Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk."They decided they both would walk! Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So the both rode the donkey!
Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying "how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey". The boy and man said they were probably right so they decided to carry the donkey. As they crossed abridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned.
Management Learning:
If you try to please everyone, you will eventually lose your ass.
Lesson Number 5:
Once PVNR (PV Narasimha Rao), L.K.Advani and Laloo Prasad Yadav ( all3 Indian ministers) were traveling in an auto rickshaw.They met with an accident and all three of them died. Yama was waiting for this moment at the door step of death. He asks PVNR and Advani to go to HEAVEN.
But, for Laloo, Yama had already decided that he should be sent to HELL. Laloo is not at all happy with this decision. He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made.All the three of them had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public positions, etc. Then why the differential treatment?
He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation before a decision is made; and should not be just based on opinion or pre conceived notions.Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an English test.
PVNR is asked to spell "INDIA" and he does it correctly.
Advani is asked to spell "ENGLAND" and he too passes.
It is Laloo's turn and he is asked to spell "CZECHOSLOVAKIA". Laloo protests that he doesn't know English. He says this is not fair and that he was given a tough question and thus forced to fail with false intent.
Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another chance assuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi would provide an equal platform for all three).
PVNR is asked to write "KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW". He writes it easily and passes.
Advani is asked to write "BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN". He too passes.
Laloo is asked to write "BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR....."Tough one. He fails again. Laloo is extremely unhappy.
Having been a student of history (which the other two weren't), he now requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in history.Yama says 'OK', but this would be the last chance and that he would not take any more tests.
PVNR is asked: "When did India get Independence?". He replied "1947"and passed.
Advani is asked "How many people died during the independence struggle?". He gets nervous.Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or200,000 or 300,000.Advani catches it and says 200,000 and passes.
It's Laloo's turn now. Yama asks him to give the Name and Address of each of the 200,000 who died in the struggle.Laloo accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL.
Management Lesson:
"IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO SCREW YOU, THERE IS JUST NO ESCAPE".
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long? The crow answered: "Sure, why not." so, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Learning:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sittingvery, very high up.
Lesson Number 2:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy. "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?"replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Management Learning:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson Number 3:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird frozen and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was.
The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay thereall warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing catheard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!
Management Learning:
1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is yourfriend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!
Lesson Number 4:
The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along, they passed some people who remarked "it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding". The man and boy thought may be the critics were right, so they changed positions.
Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk."They decided they both would walk! Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So the both rode the donkey!
Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying "how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey". The boy and man said they were probably right so they decided to carry the donkey. As they crossed abridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned.
Management Learning:
If you try to please everyone, you will eventually lose your ass.
Lesson Number 5:
Once PVNR (PV Narasimha Rao), L.K.Advani and Laloo Prasad Yadav ( all3 Indian ministers) were traveling in an auto rickshaw.They met with an accident and all three of them died. Yama was waiting for this moment at the door step of death. He asks PVNR and Advani to go to HEAVEN.
But, for Laloo, Yama had already decided that he should be sent to HELL. Laloo is not at all happy with this decision. He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made.All the three of them had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public positions, etc. Then why the differential treatment?
He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation before a decision is made; and should not be just based on opinion or pre conceived notions.Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an English test.
PVNR is asked to spell "INDIA" and he does it correctly.
Advani is asked to spell "ENGLAND" and he too passes.
It is Laloo's turn and he is asked to spell "CZECHOSLOVAKIA". Laloo protests that he doesn't know English. He says this is not fair and that he was given a tough question and thus forced to fail with false intent.
Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another chance assuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi would provide an equal platform for all three).
PVNR is asked to write "KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW". He writes it easily and passes.
Advani is asked to write "BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN". He too passes.
Laloo is asked to write "BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR....."Tough one. He fails again. Laloo is extremely unhappy.
Having been a student of history (which the other two weren't), he now requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in history.Yama says 'OK', but this would be the last chance and that he would not take any more tests.
PVNR is asked: "When did India get Independence?". He replied "1947"and passed.
Advani is asked "How many people died during the independence struggle?". He gets nervous.Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or200,000 or 300,000.Advani catches it and says 200,000 and passes.
It's Laloo's turn now. Yama asks him to give the Name and Address of each of the 200,000 who died in the struggle.Laloo accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL.
Management Lesson:
"IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO SCREW YOU, THERE IS JUST NO ESCAPE".
Sunday, June 8, 2008
The Other Side...
A father put his three year old daughter to bed,told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying"God bless Mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma and good-bye grandpa."
The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?"The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."
The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence.
A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this:"God bless Mommy, God Bless daddy and good-bye grandma."
The next day the grandmother died."Oh my god", thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.
Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say,"God bless Mommy and good-bye daddy."
He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock.
He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.
Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.
When he got home his wife said "I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?" He said "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."
She said "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened HERE".
He asked "What"?!?!?!?!
She said "This morning our neighbour James suddenly died."
!@#$%^&*!@#$%^&*!@#$%^&*!@#$%^&*
The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?"The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."
The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence.
A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this:"God bless Mommy, God Bless daddy and good-bye grandma."
The next day the grandmother died."Oh my god", thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.
Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say,"God bless Mommy and good-bye daddy."
He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock.
He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.
Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.
When he got home his wife said "I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?" He said "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."
She said "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened HERE".
He asked "What"?!?!?!?!
She said "This morning our neighbour James suddenly died."
!@#$%^&*!@#$%^&*!@#$%^&*!@#$%^&*
20 WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want Fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds".
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat - with a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day at work.
14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lotyelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!!"
19. Tell your children over dinner "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity: e-mailthis to someone to make them smile and laugh. Its called therapy.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want Fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds".
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat - with a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day at work.
14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lotyelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!!"
19. Tell your children over dinner "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity: e-mailthis to someone to make them smile and laugh. Its called therapy.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Words We Can Remember
- In Life there are Moments, when you miss someone so much, that you wish you could grab them out of your dreams and hug them tight!
- When a door closes, Another one opens; But often we stand there so long looking at closed door , that we do not see that one that's opened.
- Do not look at Physical appearances; they could be deceiving.
Do not look at riches; For they are only Temporary
Look for someone who makes you smile, because sometimes it only takes a smile to brighten up a very dark day. Look for someone who makes your heart sing. - Dream what you want to dream;
Go where yuo want to go;
Try to be who you really are;
Because Life is short and often only gives one chance to do things - The really Lucky people do not necessarily have the best of everything;
They are the ones who make the most of whatever Life throws at them. - Life is not measured by the quantity of breaths you take, but with the quantity of moments that took your breath away!
!@#$ Keep Rocking...Live Life King size !@#$
ZODIAC - The CAPRICORN (Dec. 21 - Jan. 19)
Practical, Prudent, Ambitious, Disciplined, Patient, Careful, Humorous and Reserved, Pessimistic, Fatalistic, Miserly, Grudging, Over Conventional and Rigid
Capricorns are ambitious, hard working and never lose sight of their goals. While the pragmatic Capricorn's "one step at a time" approach to getting things done may not be all that interesting, it usually delivers results.
It is not uncommon for Capricorns to be arrogant and overbearing while on their march to success. Of course they will rationalize their behavior by saying a domineering nature is a trait of a born leader. Capricorns are industrious and detail oriented. They are not ones to take risks, which means they often have to wait for success. Being patient and confident they will succeed, the wait for glory is no problem for them.
Capricorns are traditionalist to the point of often seeming a bit stiff and out of sync. They are not ones to wander far from home or chase wild dreams. They are rational and never have bursts of emotions. Sometimes they can be a bit greedy, but their devotion to work and family offsets this easily. Although their ambition may seem limitless, Capricorns never resort to cheating to succeed. When success does come to them, they find it very fulfilling, because they attained it their way.
The Capricorn In Love:
In a relationship, Capricorns are a slow starters, but prove to be explosive performers and long-lasting, loyal companions. They are quite skilled with people, once they overcome their initial reserve.
When aroused, Capricorns are enthusiastic and adventurous in the art of love, but can be possessive and jealous when threatened. Partners can sometimes be overwhelmed by the intensity of their passion, coming as it does from beneath such a cool exterior. In marriage they are loyal, good providers and strive to develop a strong home environment.
Capricorns strive to conceal their vulnerability beneath a confident veneer of ambition and material success, but passionate Mars is always bubbling just below the surface. When the curtain is lifted, the passion flows like lava from an erupting volcano. Indeed, when they are sure of their ground, they delight in living up to the randy reputation of the Goat.
Famous Capricorns Include:
Sir Isaac Newton, Richard Nixon, Louis Pasteur, Edgar Allen Poe, Elvis Presley, Michael Crawford, Phil Spector, Little Richard, Nostradamas, J. R. R. Tolkien, Kepler, David Bowie, Joan Baez, Joan of Arc and Muhammad Ali
Ideal Jobs Include:Capricorns are well-suited to careers as generals, administrators, ministers, managers, computer wizards and engineers.
Lucky Numbers:10, 28, 37, 46, 55
Planet: Saturn
Star Stone: Onyx
Element: Earth
Most Compatible With: Taurus or Virgo
Symbol : Goat
Ruling Planet: Saturn
Keywords: Ambitious, cautious, disciplined
Polarity: Negative
Duality or Gender: Feminine
Element: Earth
Quality: Cardinal
Body Areas: Bones, skin and teeth
Countries: Macedonia, Mexico, India, Lithuania, Albania and Shetland
Cities: Brussels, Delhi, Mexico City and Oxford
Stones: Amethyst, turquoise
Colors: Black, dark brown, dark green and grey
Similarity to Chinese Sign : OX
Capricorns are ambitious, hard working and never lose sight of their goals. While the pragmatic Capricorn's "one step at a time" approach to getting things done may not be all that interesting, it usually delivers results.
It is not uncommon for Capricorns to be arrogant and overbearing while on their march to success. Of course they will rationalize their behavior by saying a domineering nature is a trait of a born leader. Capricorns are industrious and detail oriented. They are not ones to take risks, which means they often have to wait for success. Being patient and confident they will succeed, the wait for glory is no problem for them.
Capricorns are traditionalist to the point of often seeming a bit stiff and out of sync. They are not ones to wander far from home or chase wild dreams. They are rational and never have bursts of emotions. Sometimes they can be a bit greedy, but their devotion to work and family offsets this easily. Although their ambition may seem limitless, Capricorns never resort to cheating to succeed. When success does come to them, they find it very fulfilling, because they attained it their way.
The Capricorn In Love:
In a relationship, Capricorns are a slow starters, but prove to be explosive performers and long-lasting, loyal companions. They are quite skilled with people, once they overcome their initial reserve.
When aroused, Capricorns are enthusiastic and adventurous in the art of love, but can be possessive and jealous when threatened. Partners can sometimes be overwhelmed by the intensity of their passion, coming as it does from beneath such a cool exterior. In marriage they are loyal, good providers and strive to develop a strong home environment.
Capricorns strive to conceal their vulnerability beneath a confident veneer of ambition and material success, but passionate Mars is always bubbling just below the surface. When the curtain is lifted, the passion flows like lava from an erupting volcano. Indeed, when they are sure of their ground, they delight in living up to the randy reputation of the Goat.
Famous Capricorns Include:
Sir Isaac Newton, Richard Nixon, Louis Pasteur, Edgar Allen Poe, Elvis Presley, Michael Crawford, Phil Spector, Little Richard, Nostradamas, J. R. R. Tolkien, Kepler, David Bowie, Joan Baez, Joan of Arc and Muhammad Ali
Ideal Jobs Include:Capricorns are well-suited to careers as generals, administrators, ministers, managers, computer wizards and engineers.
Lucky Numbers:10, 28, 37, 46, 55
Planet: Saturn
Star Stone: Onyx
Element: Earth
Most Compatible With: Taurus or Virgo
Symbol : Goat
Ruling Planet: Saturn
Keywords: Ambitious, cautious, disciplined
Polarity: Negative
Duality or Gender: Feminine
Element: Earth
Quality: Cardinal
Body Areas: Bones, skin and teeth
Countries: Macedonia, Mexico, India, Lithuania, Albania and Shetland
Cities: Brussels, Delhi, Mexico City and Oxford
Stones: Amethyst, turquoise
Colors: Black, dark brown, dark green and grey
Similarity to Chinese Sign : OX
ZODIAC - The SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 21 - Dec. 20)
Optimistic, Freedom-Loving, Jovial, Good-Humored, Honest, Straightforward, Intellectual and Philosophical, Blindly Optimistic, Careless, Irresponsible, Superficial, Tactless and Restless
While Sagittarians are the nomads of the Zodiac, they do not wander aimlessly. They are seekers of the truth and will go anywhere and talk to anyone for answers to their questions. Knowledge and wisdom drive them and provide the energy for their liberal approach to life. Sagittarians are drawn to the philosophical and spiritual because these subjects provide answers to the questions that burn inside them.
Sagittarians are the intellectuals of the Zodiac. They are lucid thinkers who appreciate others agreeing with their conclusions. Sometimes they are so confident their deductions are beyond dispute they become dogmatic and argumentative. Still, the Sagittarian quest for information drives them to listen to anyone and absorb what they find useful and quickly disregard the rest.
It is the nature of Sagittarians to roam freely. If they feel intellectually or physically restricted they may become bad-tempered very quickly. When Sagittarians are given the freedom they need they are kind, optimistic, lucky and not afraid of taking an occasional risk. They are also a charming lot who can be self-indulgent procrastinators. Overall, Sagittarians allowed the freedom they need are a delight to be around.
The Sagitarian In Love:
Sagittarians love any new form of sexual expression that challenges and excites them. Both tolerant and eager to please, their honesty can sometimes prove too much for those who prefer a more mysterious, or veiled approach to love.
Sagittarians are best involved with a steadier, stronger personality, who can understand their need for independence, yet still be there after an occasional flair of temper. Their frank and open motives are often misunderstood, threatening to more subdued signs.
Although they hate to be tied down, they are willing to experiment with all manner of relationship styles. As long as their partner is able to keep up with their wide-ranging interests and is prepared to come up with new experiments in lovemaking (and certainly does not mind them doing the same), their relationship will be exciting and reasonably long lasting. Mutual honesty is the key to success for the Sagittarian.
Famous Sagitarians Include:
Sir Winston Churchill, Ludwig van Beethoven, Mark Twain, Francis Albert Sinatra, Jim Morrison, Walt Disney, Dale Carnegie, Bruce Lee, Steven Spielberg , Phil Donahue, Jane Fonda, Uri Geller, and the Dali-Lama
Ideal Jobs Include:Sagittarians are well-suited to careers as travel agents, explorers, professors, photographers, ambassadors, import-export traders and thrill-seekers.
Lucky Numbers:9, 18, 27, 36, 45, 54
Planet: Jupiter
Star Stone: Topaz
Element: Fire
Symbol : Archer
Ruling Planet: Jupiter
Keywords: Carefree, independent, philosophical
Polarity: Positive
Duality or Gender: Masculine
Element: Fire
Quality: Mutable
Body Areas: Hips, thighs, liver
Countries: Spain, Hungary, Saudi Arabia, Australia and Yugoslavia
Cities: Toronto, Avignon, Bradford, Budapest, Naples, Cologne and Nottingham
Stone: Topaz
Colors: Dark blues, rich purples
Similarity to Chinese Sign : RAT
While Sagittarians are the nomads of the Zodiac, they do not wander aimlessly. They are seekers of the truth and will go anywhere and talk to anyone for answers to their questions. Knowledge and wisdom drive them and provide the energy for their liberal approach to life. Sagittarians are drawn to the philosophical and spiritual because these subjects provide answers to the questions that burn inside them.
Sagittarians are the intellectuals of the Zodiac. They are lucid thinkers who appreciate others agreeing with their conclusions. Sometimes they are so confident their deductions are beyond dispute they become dogmatic and argumentative. Still, the Sagittarian quest for information drives them to listen to anyone and absorb what they find useful and quickly disregard the rest.
It is the nature of Sagittarians to roam freely. If they feel intellectually or physically restricted they may become bad-tempered very quickly. When Sagittarians are given the freedom they need they are kind, optimistic, lucky and not afraid of taking an occasional risk. They are also a charming lot who can be self-indulgent procrastinators. Overall, Sagittarians allowed the freedom they need are a delight to be around.
The Sagitarian In Love:
Sagittarians love any new form of sexual expression that challenges and excites them. Both tolerant and eager to please, their honesty can sometimes prove too much for those who prefer a more mysterious, or veiled approach to love.
Sagittarians are best involved with a steadier, stronger personality, who can understand their need for independence, yet still be there after an occasional flair of temper. Their frank and open motives are often misunderstood, threatening to more subdued signs.
Although they hate to be tied down, they are willing to experiment with all manner of relationship styles. As long as their partner is able to keep up with their wide-ranging interests and is prepared to come up with new experiments in lovemaking (and certainly does not mind them doing the same), their relationship will be exciting and reasonably long lasting. Mutual honesty is the key to success for the Sagittarian.
Famous Sagitarians Include:
Sir Winston Churchill, Ludwig van Beethoven, Mark Twain, Francis Albert Sinatra, Jim Morrison, Walt Disney, Dale Carnegie, Bruce Lee, Steven Spielberg , Phil Donahue, Jane Fonda, Uri Geller, and the Dali-Lama
Ideal Jobs Include:Sagittarians are well-suited to careers as travel agents, explorers, professors, photographers, ambassadors, import-export traders and thrill-seekers.
Lucky Numbers:9, 18, 27, 36, 45, 54
Planet: Jupiter
Star Stone: Topaz
Element: Fire
Symbol : Archer
Ruling Planet: Jupiter
Keywords: Carefree, independent, philosophical
Polarity: Positive
Duality or Gender: Masculine
Element: Fire
Quality: Mutable
Body Areas: Hips, thighs, liver
Countries: Spain, Hungary, Saudi Arabia, Australia and Yugoslavia
Cities: Toronto, Avignon, Bradford, Budapest, Naples, Cologne and Nottingham
Stone: Topaz
Colors: Dark blues, rich purples
Similarity to Chinese Sign : RAT
ZODIAC - The SCORPIO (Oct. 23 - Nov. 20)
Determined, Forceful, Emotional, Intuitive, Powerful, Passionate, Exciting and Magnetic, Jealous, Resentful, Compulsive, Obsessive, Secretive and Obstinate
Intuitive and ever curious, Scorpios are the great investigators of the Zodiac. They want to know everything about everyone. When an answer is needed, a Scorpio will find it for you. Unfortunately Scorpios seem to see only in black and white. They always have their own agenda and never fail to promote it.
Scorpios are the masters of their fate. They know only one way to live: on their own terms. They do not live life but attack it. When life hands them a loss, they do not waste time sulking, but rather continue on their path, sure they will eventually succeed. Scorpios are driven by their intense passions and desires. Often they are seen as imperious.
Scorpios are a secretive lot. Those around them may never know the depth of their passions. Probing the Scorpio psyche will only make them leery and cause them to flee. Whether in business or play, Scorpios love to compete. Indeed to do well, they must have an opponent. Scorpios do not take slights well. If you cross them be assured they will retaliate with their full force. Scorpios never quit and never surrender. If anyone can get a difficult task done it is a Scorpio.
The Scorpio In Love:
Scorpios have a dark and mysterious style which, combined with an irresistible personal magnetism, creates a fascination in members of the opposite sex. They ooze sexual excitement and require a partner who can keep up with their marvelous capacity for taking everything to the limit and far beyond. For Scorpios, emotions run deep, and their faculty of intuition is remarkably accurate, so their antennae can pick out a prospective partner at first sight. They need, however, to keep a part of themselves private and personal. They can react vigorously should a lover trespass in their personal domain.
Scorpios can be unduly domineering in personal relationships, especially should they perceive their partner to be weaker than themselves. Their biggest problem is finding someone who, while strong enough to maintain a tempestuous lifestyle, is interesting enough to remain a challenge. Once they find the right person they will mate for life.
Famous Scorpians Include:
Marie Antoinette, Marie Curie, Martin Luther, Theodore Roosevelt, Bill Gates, Lorne Michaels, Picasso, William Penn, Christopher Columbus, Sally Field, Joni Mitchell, Mohammed, Prince Charles, Goldie Hawn, Roberto Goizueta, and Voltaire
Ideal Jobs Include:Scorpions are well-suited for careers as doctors, investigators, ecologists, managers, engineers, navigators and secret agents.
Lucky Numbers:8, 17, 26, 35, 44, 53
Planet: Pluto
Star Stone: Opal
Element: Water
Symbol : Scorpion
Ruling Planet: Pluto
Keywords: Powerful, passionate, intense
Polarity: Negative
Duality or Gender: Feminine
Element: Water
Quality: Fixed
Body Areas: Sexual organs
Countries: Korea, Norway, Bavaria, Syria and South Africa
Cities: New Orleans, Baltimore, Liverpool, Washington, D.C.
Stone: Opal
Colors: Maroon, Dark Red, Black
Similarity to Chinese Sign : PIG
Intuitive and ever curious, Scorpios are the great investigators of the Zodiac. They want to know everything about everyone. When an answer is needed, a Scorpio will find it for you. Unfortunately Scorpios seem to see only in black and white. They always have their own agenda and never fail to promote it.
Scorpios are the masters of their fate. They know only one way to live: on their own terms. They do not live life but attack it. When life hands them a loss, they do not waste time sulking, but rather continue on their path, sure they will eventually succeed. Scorpios are driven by their intense passions and desires. Often they are seen as imperious.
Scorpios are a secretive lot. Those around them may never know the depth of their passions. Probing the Scorpio psyche will only make them leery and cause them to flee. Whether in business or play, Scorpios love to compete. Indeed to do well, they must have an opponent. Scorpios do not take slights well. If you cross them be assured they will retaliate with their full force. Scorpios never quit and never surrender. If anyone can get a difficult task done it is a Scorpio.
The Scorpio In Love:
Scorpios have a dark and mysterious style which, combined with an irresistible personal magnetism, creates a fascination in members of the opposite sex. They ooze sexual excitement and require a partner who can keep up with their marvelous capacity for taking everything to the limit and far beyond. For Scorpios, emotions run deep, and their faculty of intuition is remarkably accurate, so their antennae can pick out a prospective partner at first sight. They need, however, to keep a part of themselves private and personal. They can react vigorously should a lover trespass in their personal domain.
Scorpios can be unduly domineering in personal relationships, especially should they perceive their partner to be weaker than themselves. Their biggest problem is finding someone who, while strong enough to maintain a tempestuous lifestyle, is interesting enough to remain a challenge. Once they find the right person they will mate for life.
Famous Scorpians Include:
Marie Antoinette, Marie Curie, Martin Luther, Theodore Roosevelt, Bill Gates, Lorne Michaels, Picasso, William Penn, Christopher Columbus, Sally Field, Joni Mitchell, Mohammed, Prince Charles, Goldie Hawn, Roberto Goizueta, and Voltaire
Ideal Jobs Include:Scorpions are well-suited for careers as doctors, investigators, ecologists, managers, engineers, navigators and secret agents.
Lucky Numbers:8, 17, 26, 35, 44, 53
Planet: Pluto
Star Stone: Opal
Element: Water
Symbol : Scorpion
Ruling Planet: Pluto
Keywords: Powerful, passionate, intense
Polarity: Negative
Duality or Gender: Feminine
Element: Water
Quality: Fixed
Body Areas: Sexual organs
Countries: Korea, Norway, Bavaria, Syria and South Africa
Cities: New Orleans, Baltimore, Liverpool, Washington, D.C.
Stone: Opal
Colors: Maroon, Dark Red, Black
Similarity to Chinese Sign : PIG
ZODIAC - The LIBRA (Sept. 22 - Oct. 22)
Diplomaitic, Urbane, Romantic, Charming, Easygoing, Sociable, Idealistic and Peaceable, Indecisive, Changeable, Gullible, Easily Infuenced, Flirtatious and Self-Indulgent
Librans are the Zodiac's seekers of balance, harmony and justice. Librans do best when paired up with others. They do not really care to be alone. Those they pair with can count on them to be fair and avoid conflict if possible.
Often Libras may seem a bit indecisive. This is because in their efforts to be fair they must study every angle of a situation before making a decision. They really are out to do what is best for all. Libras are master strategists and organizers. Librans are friendly, sociable and can charm anyone who engages them in conversation. When bored they quickly become lethargic and may need those around them to supply the spark to get them back on track.
Librans love to know everything about the people around them. They are always diplomatic and not averse to compromise--particularly if it will avoid discord. While Librans may not be team leaders, they can be counted on to plan any project's steps well. Their sense of fairness will also help lessen the number of conflicts that arise between project members. Libra's great gift to us all is we can trust them to be unbiased in their decisions at all times.
The Libra In Love:
Librans love the home and marriage. Time with their lover and family makes them feel complete. To a large extent their love relationship will become their identity. Libras can be very sensual and eager to explore both the spiritual and physical limits of their relationships.
Shaping their relationship and creating entrancing moments is where the Libra focuses its creativity. Their ultimate goal is pleasure and harmony. Libras prefer to be the pursued, rather than pursue. The more attention their mate pours upon them, the happier they will be.
Librans are best involved with a special person who understands their need for romance and their search for the perfect environment. They are co-operative, imaginative and willing to experiment with all manner of relationship styles. The happy Libra is one whose relationship is not simply a coupling, but the joining of two people to go through life as one.
Famous Librans Include:
Eisenhower, Olivia Newtown-John, Sarah Berhardt, Mohandas Gandhi, Franz Liszt, Bruce Springsteen, Brigitte Bardot, Eleanor Roosevelt, Paul Simon, Noah Webster, Ralph Lauren, and Michael Crichton
Ideal Jobs Include:Librans are well-suited to careers as diplomats, judges, public relations consultants, counsellors, psychologists and artists.
Lucky Numbers:7, 16, 25, 34, 43, 52
Planet: Venus
Star Stone: Sapphire
Element: Air
Symbol : Scales
Ruling Planet: Venus
Keywords: Balanced, romantic, easygoing
Polarity: Positive
Duality or Gender: Masculine
Element: Air
Quality: Cardinal
Body Areas: Kidneys
Countries: Tibet, Austria, China, South-Pacific Islands, Upper Egypt and Japan
Cities: Vienna, Copenhagen, Leeds, Nottingham and Lisbon
Stone: Sapphire
Colors: Pale blues, pinks and various shades of green
Similarity to Chinese Sign : DOG
Librans are the Zodiac's seekers of balance, harmony and justice. Librans do best when paired up with others. They do not really care to be alone. Those they pair with can count on them to be fair and avoid conflict if possible.
Often Libras may seem a bit indecisive. This is because in their efforts to be fair they must study every angle of a situation before making a decision. They really are out to do what is best for all. Libras are master strategists and organizers. Librans are friendly, sociable and can charm anyone who engages them in conversation. When bored they quickly become lethargic and may need those around them to supply the spark to get them back on track.
Librans love to know everything about the people around them. They are always diplomatic and not averse to compromise--particularly if it will avoid discord. While Librans may not be team leaders, they can be counted on to plan any project's steps well. Their sense of fairness will also help lessen the number of conflicts that arise between project members. Libra's great gift to us all is we can trust them to be unbiased in their decisions at all times.
The Libra In Love:
Librans love the home and marriage. Time with their lover and family makes them feel complete. To a large extent their love relationship will become their identity. Libras can be very sensual and eager to explore both the spiritual and physical limits of their relationships.
Shaping their relationship and creating entrancing moments is where the Libra focuses its creativity. Their ultimate goal is pleasure and harmony. Libras prefer to be the pursued, rather than pursue. The more attention their mate pours upon them, the happier they will be.
Librans are best involved with a special person who understands their need for romance and their search for the perfect environment. They are co-operative, imaginative and willing to experiment with all manner of relationship styles. The happy Libra is one whose relationship is not simply a coupling, but the joining of two people to go through life as one.
Famous Librans Include:
Eisenhower, Olivia Newtown-John, Sarah Berhardt, Mohandas Gandhi, Franz Liszt, Bruce Springsteen, Brigitte Bardot, Eleanor Roosevelt, Paul Simon, Noah Webster, Ralph Lauren, and Michael Crichton
Ideal Jobs Include:Librans are well-suited to careers as diplomats, judges, public relations consultants, counsellors, psychologists and artists.
Lucky Numbers:7, 16, 25, 34, 43, 52
Planet: Venus
Star Stone: Sapphire
Element: Air
Symbol : Scales
Ruling Planet: Venus
Keywords: Balanced, romantic, easygoing
Polarity: Positive
Duality or Gender: Masculine
Element: Air
Quality: Cardinal
Body Areas: Kidneys
Countries: Tibet, Austria, China, South-Pacific Islands, Upper Egypt and Japan
Cities: Vienna, Copenhagen, Leeds, Nottingham and Lisbon
Stone: Sapphire
Colors: Pale blues, pinks and various shades of green
Similarity to Chinese Sign : DOG
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
ZODIAC - The VIRGO (Aug 22 - Sept. 21)
Modest, Shy, Meticulous, Reliable, Practical, Diligent, Intelligent and Analytical
Fussy, A Worrier, Overcritical, Harsh, Perfectionist and Conservative
Instinctively responsive to the needs of others, Virgos readily adapt to different people and changing circumstances by finding ways to make themselves useful. They do not have a desire to be in the spotlight. However, they can be very successful at promoting those who are.Virgos are meticulous, practical perfectionists. They abhor sloppiness and disorganization. They are sometimes seen as being far too picky. However, when you want a job done right the first time get a Virgo to do it. Some Virgos are not above using an inability to achieve perfection as the excuse for their own idleness and unproductiveness, but this is out of character with their true nature. Virgos have an inner drive to serve others, which must be met for them to be happy. They love to apply their analytical skills to solving the problems of others. They are generally perceived to be quite witty and entertaining, if a tad too critical. Because Virgos are worriers, they are prone to hypochondria. Virgos love material possessions and find it hard to accept anything that is not of the very best quality available.
The Virgo In Love:
Virgo is particular, practical and realistic rather than romantic. Virgos are slow-burning fuses in the art of lovemaking. Once properly ignited, situations can lead to an explosion of white heat that takes quite a while to cool down. They are, however, very fastidious and critical of the personal habits of others, which can be a big turn-off and prevent them from achieving a fulfilling relationship, or even participating at all in the messy business of involvement.They are unwilling to discuss their innermost feelings with anyone save a very trusted confidante or lover. Anyone who wishes to get to know them deeply must be prepared to persevere, in which case they will prove a lifelong friend and ally or lover. Once Virgos have committed themselves to a lover, anyone showing interest in their lover is likely to spark a bout of jealousy. Overall, Virgos are devoted and readily willing to serve their mates.
Famous Virgos Include:
Lauren Bacall, Michael Jackson, D. H. Lawrence, Queen Elizabeth I, Sophia Loren, Sean Connery, Lily Tomlin, Raquel Welch, Grandma Moses, Tolstoy, H. L. Mencken, John Coltrane, Pavlov, Warren Buffett and Liliuokalani .
Ideal Jobs Include:Virgos are well-suited to be chemists, doctors, investigators, nutritionists, veterinarians, managers and entrepreneurs.
Lucky Numbers:6, 15, 24, 33, 42, 51
Planet: Mercury
Star Stone: Sardonyx
Element: Earth
Symbol : Virgin
Ruling Planet: Mercury
Keywords: analytical, meticulous, modest
Polarity: Negative
Duality or Gender: Feminine
Element: Earth
Quality: Mutable
Body Areas: Nervous System
Countries: Mesopatamia, Virgin Islands, Brazil, Crete and Turkey
Cities: Paris, Athens, Boston, Corinth and Jerusalem
Stone: Sardonyx
Colors: Brown, dark grey and deep navy blue
Similarity to Chinese Sign : ROOSTER
Fussy, A Worrier, Overcritical, Harsh, Perfectionist and Conservative
Instinctively responsive to the needs of others, Virgos readily adapt to different people and changing circumstances by finding ways to make themselves useful. They do not have a desire to be in the spotlight. However, they can be very successful at promoting those who are.Virgos are meticulous, practical perfectionists. They abhor sloppiness and disorganization. They are sometimes seen as being far too picky. However, when you want a job done right the first time get a Virgo to do it. Some Virgos are not above using an inability to achieve perfection as the excuse for their own idleness and unproductiveness, but this is out of character with their true nature. Virgos have an inner drive to serve others, which must be met for them to be happy. They love to apply their analytical skills to solving the problems of others. They are generally perceived to be quite witty and entertaining, if a tad too critical. Because Virgos are worriers, they are prone to hypochondria. Virgos love material possessions and find it hard to accept anything that is not of the very best quality available.
The Virgo In Love:
Virgo is particular, practical and realistic rather than romantic. Virgos are slow-burning fuses in the art of lovemaking. Once properly ignited, situations can lead to an explosion of white heat that takes quite a while to cool down. They are, however, very fastidious and critical of the personal habits of others, which can be a big turn-off and prevent them from achieving a fulfilling relationship, or even participating at all in the messy business of involvement.They are unwilling to discuss their innermost feelings with anyone save a very trusted confidante or lover. Anyone who wishes to get to know them deeply must be prepared to persevere, in which case they will prove a lifelong friend and ally or lover. Once Virgos have committed themselves to a lover, anyone showing interest in their lover is likely to spark a bout of jealousy. Overall, Virgos are devoted and readily willing to serve their mates.
Famous Virgos Include:
Lauren Bacall, Michael Jackson, D. H. Lawrence, Queen Elizabeth I, Sophia Loren, Sean Connery, Lily Tomlin, Raquel Welch, Grandma Moses, Tolstoy, H. L. Mencken, John Coltrane, Pavlov, Warren Buffett and Liliuokalani .
Ideal Jobs Include:Virgos are well-suited to be chemists, doctors, investigators, nutritionists, veterinarians, managers and entrepreneurs.
Lucky Numbers:6, 15, 24, 33, 42, 51
Planet: Mercury
Star Stone: Sardonyx
Element: Earth
Symbol : Virgin
Ruling Planet: Mercury
Keywords: analytical, meticulous, modest
Polarity: Negative
Duality or Gender: Feminine
Element: Earth
Quality: Mutable
Body Areas: Nervous System
Countries: Mesopatamia, Virgin Islands, Brazil, Crete and Turkey
Cities: Paris, Athens, Boston, Corinth and Jerusalem
Stone: Sardonyx
Colors: Brown, dark grey and deep navy blue
Similarity to Chinese Sign : ROOSTER
ZODIAC - The LEO (July 22 - Aug. 21)
Generous, Warmhearted, Creative, Enthusiastic, Broad-Minded, Expansive, Faithful and Loving, Pompous, Patronizing, Bossy, Interfering, Dogmatic and Intolerant
Leo's charisma and innate ability to lead guarantee they will almost always be at center stage--a place where they love to be. Leos are so full of warmth and optimism it is impossible to not find their company pleasurable. Fearless, powerful and dignified by nature, Leos make great leaders. The force of their will guarantees any task they tackle will be completed.
While they may seem domineering, even despotic at times, their goal is always to ensure the well being of all those in their kingdom. Ever-confident Leos are also creative, idealistic and have an indefatigable lust for life. When leadership is required, a Leo is what is needed. They will get the job done right and on time. Leos also have a talent for bringing the very best out in those around them.
Warm-hearted Leos love to have fun, and will go out of their way to make sure those around them are having fun too! Leos love games of all kinds. They are risk takers and will plunge into new ventures on impulse, confident their talents will ensure success. Strong and honorable, optimistic and fun, few will find the Leo's charms easy to resist.
The Leo In Love:
When in love, Leo's love of fun is only outdone by the romantic in them. They are faithful lovers with a passion that may seem too hot to handle! Leos may not always be willing to try new things which did not spring from their own fantasies, but a clever lover may slowly introduce new methods of expressing love to their relationship. Once the Leo realizes they are fun they will be won over.
Leos sometimes cling to bad relationships because their egos will not allow them to admit they may have made a mistake. Also, being forever optimistic, it is impossible for a Leo to see any problem as insurmountable.
Overall, the Leo will prove to be a wonderful mate. Their love of children makes them a natural parent. They are generous, warm and truly want the best for everyone. Their loyalty and sense of honor makes it unlikely they will be indiscrete.
Famous Leos Include:
Mae West, Napoleon Bonaparte, Andy Warhol, Simon Bolivar, George Bernard Shaw, Maxfield Parish, Omar Khayyam, Peggy Fleming, Carl G. Jung, Stanley Kubrick, Mick Jagger, Jackie Onaissis, Charles Schwab, and Arnold Schwarzenegger
Ideal Jobs Include:Leos are well-suited to be managers, architects, inventors, teachers, athletes and presidents.
Lucky Numbers:5, 14, 13, 32, 41, 50
Planet: The Sun
Star Stone: Ruby
Element: Fire
Symbol : Lion
Ruling Planet: Sun
Keywords: Creative, impressive, powerful
Polarity: Positive
Duality or Gender: Masculine
Element: Fire
Quality: Fixed
Body Areas: Heart, spine and back
Countries: South of France, Sicily, Romania, and Czechoslovakia
Cities: Los Angeles, Chicago, Rome, Madrid, Prague, Bombay and Damascus
Stone: Ruby
Color: The color of the Sun, from dusk to dawn
Similarity to Chinese Sign : MONKEY
Leo's charisma and innate ability to lead guarantee they will almost always be at center stage--a place where they love to be. Leos are so full of warmth and optimism it is impossible to not find their company pleasurable. Fearless, powerful and dignified by nature, Leos make great leaders. The force of their will guarantees any task they tackle will be completed.
While they may seem domineering, even despotic at times, their goal is always to ensure the well being of all those in their kingdom. Ever-confident Leos are also creative, idealistic and have an indefatigable lust for life. When leadership is required, a Leo is what is needed. They will get the job done right and on time. Leos also have a talent for bringing the very best out in those around them.
Warm-hearted Leos love to have fun, and will go out of their way to make sure those around them are having fun too! Leos love games of all kinds. They are risk takers and will plunge into new ventures on impulse, confident their talents will ensure success. Strong and honorable, optimistic and fun, few will find the Leo's charms easy to resist.
The Leo In Love:
When in love, Leo's love of fun is only outdone by the romantic in them. They are faithful lovers with a passion that may seem too hot to handle! Leos may not always be willing to try new things which did not spring from their own fantasies, but a clever lover may slowly introduce new methods of expressing love to their relationship. Once the Leo realizes they are fun they will be won over.
Leos sometimes cling to bad relationships because their egos will not allow them to admit they may have made a mistake. Also, being forever optimistic, it is impossible for a Leo to see any problem as insurmountable.
Overall, the Leo will prove to be a wonderful mate. Their love of children makes them a natural parent. They are generous, warm and truly want the best for everyone. Their loyalty and sense of honor makes it unlikely they will be indiscrete.
Famous Leos Include:
Mae West, Napoleon Bonaparte, Andy Warhol, Simon Bolivar, George Bernard Shaw, Maxfield Parish, Omar Khayyam, Peggy Fleming, Carl G. Jung, Stanley Kubrick, Mick Jagger, Jackie Onaissis, Charles Schwab, and Arnold Schwarzenegger
Ideal Jobs Include:Leos are well-suited to be managers, architects, inventors, teachers, athletes and presidents.
Lucky Numbers:5, 14, 13, 32, 41, 50
Planet: The Sun
Star Stone: Ruby
Element: Fire
Symbol : Lion
Ruling Planet: Sun
Keywords: Creative, impressive, powerful
Polarity: Positive
Duality or Gender: Masculine
Element: Fire
Quality: Fixed
Body Areas: Heart, spine and back
Countries: South of France, Sicily, Romania, and Czechoslovakia
Cities: Los Angeles, Chicago, Rome, Madrid, Prague, Bombay and Damascus
Stone: Ruby
Color: The color of the Sun, from dusk to dawn
Similarity to Chinese Sign : MONKEY
ZODIAC - The CANCER (June 21 - July 21)
Emotional, Loving, Intuitive, Imaginative, Shrewd, Cautious, Protective and Sympathetic, Changeable, Moody, Overemotional, Touchy, Clinging and Unable To Let Go
The Cancer’s first love is its home and family. They love to nurture those around them. No sacrifice is too large to ensure their home is secure and their loved ones are safe and happy. They are very kind and sharing. Cancers are also very moody, and often retreat into themselves to regenerate, or sometimes sulk. The quickest way for them to rebound from such moments is to do what they do best: nurture others.
Cancers can be very iron-willed and like to have things their way. They are very sensitive to slights and hurt easily. When pained Cancers will retreat into themselves and brood. Although generally they do not like confrontation, Cancers are not above seeking revenge against those that hurt them. Cancers are compassionate and freely show their affection for others. They will set their problems aside to assist others in solving theirs. Being extremely intuitive, they often know what is upsetting someone without being told. They are great communicators and can often help those in trouble with just a few words.
Overall, Cancers are quite gregarious. They love to socialize with their friends and family. Their need to care for those in their circle makes them an asset to any family.
The Cancer In Love:
In relationships, Cancers, the most nurturing sign of the zodiac, seek a secure nest. They are best involved with someone who understands their creativity and will accept them for what they are, moods and all. Because their emotions are so powerful, they seek a partner who is stable and responsive, while at the same time understanding of their intermittent need for solitude, alternating with a gregarious desire for companionship and stimulation.
Cancers are protective, even possessive. While not domineering, they can become very jealous lovers when they feel insecure. Although they present a hard shell to the outside world, Cancers are sensitive and caring by nature. As a lover, Cancers seek security and fidelity. Cancers can be deeply wounded if the one they care for betrays their trust (which is never given lightly). Cancers are poetic and romantic and extremely sensual. When with a lover they trust, both they and their mate will flourish.
Famous Cancers Include:
Bill Cosby, Henry VIII, Princess Diana, Mike Tyson, Julius Caesar, Nelson Mandela, Rembrandt, H. Ross Perot, Dan Aykroyd, Geraldo Rivera, Ringo, Buckminster Fuller, Alexander the Great, Estée Lauder, and Marshall McLuhan
Ideal Jobs Include:Cancers are well-suited to be doctors, pharmacists, teachers, nutritionists, chefs, realtors -- any position in which they can feel truly useful.
Lucky Numbers:4, 13, 22, 31, 40, 48, 57
Planet: The Moon
Star Stone: Pearl
Element: Water
Symbol : Crab
Ruling Planet: The Moon
Keywords: Sensitive, loving, imaginative
Polarity: Negative
Duality or Gender: Feminine
Element: Water
Quality: Cardinal
Body Areas: Breasts
Countries: Holland, Scotland, West Africa, New Zealand, North Africa and Paraguay
Cities: Venice, Amsterdam, Milan, New York and Stockholm
Stone: Pearl
Colors: Pale blues, silver, smoky gray
Similarity to Chinese Sign : SHEEP
The Cancer’s first love is its home and family. They love to nurture those around them. No sacrifice is too large to ensure their home is secure and their loved ones are safe and happy. They are very kind and sharing. Cancers are also very moody, and often retreat into themselves to regenerate, or sometimes sulk. The quickest way for them to rebound from such moments is to do what they do best: nurture others.
Cancers can be very iron-willed and like to have things their way. They are very sensitive to slights and hurt easily. When pained Cancers will retreat into themselves and brood. Although generally they do not like confrontation, Cancers are not above seeking revenge against those that hurt them. Cancers are compassionate and freely show their affection for others. They will set their problems aside to assist others in solving theirs. Being extremely intuitive, they often know what is upsetting someone without being told. They are great communicators and can often help those in trouble with just a few words.
Overall, Cancers are quite gregarious. They love to socialize with their friends and family. Their need to care for those in their circle makes them an asset to any family.
The Cancer In Love:
In relationships, Cancers, the most nurturing sign of the zodiac, seek a secure nest. They are best involved with someone who understands their creativity and will accept them for what they are, moods and all. Because their emotions are so powerful, they seek a partner who is stable and responsive, while at the same time understanding of their intermittent need for solitude, alternating with a gregarious desire for companionship and stimulation.
Cancers are protective, even possessive. While not domineering, they can become very jealous lovers when they feel insecure. Although they present a hard shell to the outside world, Cancers are sensitive and caring by nature. As a lover, Cancers seek security and fidelity. Cancers can be deeply wounded if the one they care for betrays their trust (which is never given lightly). Cancers are poetic and romantic and extremely sensual. When with a lover they trust, both they and their mate will flourish.
Famous Cancers Include:
Bill Cosby, Henry VIII, Princess Diana, Mike Tyson, Julius Caesar, Nelson Mandela, Rembrandt, H. Ross Perot, Dan Aykroyd, Geraldo Rivera, Ringo, Buckminster Fuller, Alexander the Great, Estée Lauder, and Marshall McLuhan
Ideal Jobs Include:Cancers are well-suited to be doctors, pharmacists, teachers, nutritionists, chefs, realtors -- any position in which they can feel truly useful.
Lucky Numbers:4, 13, 22, 31, 40, 48, 57
Planet: The Moon
Star Stone: Pearl
Element: Water
Symbol : Crab
Ruling Planet: The Moon
Keywords: Sensitive, loving, imaginative
Polarity: Negative
Duality or Gender: Feminine
Element: Water
Quality: Cardinal
Body Areas: Breasts
Countries: Holland, Scotland, West Africa, New Zealand, North Africa and Paraguay
Cities: Venice, Amsterdam, Milan, New York and Stockholm
Stone: Pearl
Colors: Pale blues, silver, smoky gray
Similarity to Chinese Sign : SHEEP
ZODIAC - The GEMINI (May 20 - June 20)
Adaptable, Versatile, Communicative, Witty, Intellectual, Eloquent, Youthful and Lively, Nervous, Tense, Superficial, Inconsistent, Cunning and Inquisitive
Geminis are curious and intellectual by nature. They are forever exploring people and places in their quest to attain knowledge. Bright, witty and outgoing, the Gemini charm guarantees they will be the center of attention in any crowd. Matching their intellect is a well-developed imagination.
The duality of the Gemini personality can make it difficult to know just whom you are dealing with. They sometimes appear fickle, flighty and susceptible to whim. These traits often make it difficult for Geminis to finish much of what they start. The other side of their dual personalities is they have an innate ability to multi-task, which is good since their interests are many and varied.
The Gemini Intellect is the key to their being, and provides the foundation for their skills in the art of communicating. Geminis are not born leaders and will usually defer that position to another. However, their clear thinking and creativity allow them to contribute positively to any project. While Geminis love to talk, they also make for a great audience. Overall, their light spirit and interest in almost everything make them wonderful company.
The Gemini In Love:
Geminis love intelligent conversation, so the way to the Geminian heart is through the head. The Geminian is best involved with a steadier, stronger personality who will tolerate and enjoy their butterfly socializing, yet still be there for them when the cards have all blown down. They are willing to experiment with all manner of relationship styles; and as long as their partner is articulate, tolerant, exciting, adventurous and willing to discuss their exploits in detail, they will be ecstatic.
Because Gemini is not above straying, they are rather divorce prone. However, typically they think the joys of an occasional adventure more than make up for the risks involved. Geminis are exciting companions who crave excitement and variety. They assume they will be able to easily smooth over troubled waters with their silver tongue--they are tolerant of the peccadilloes of their partners, so long as they are not stolid or boring.
Famous Gemini Include:
H.R.H. Philip (Duke of Edinburgh), Sir Arthur Conan-Doyle, Marilyn Monroe, Judy Garland, Bob Hope, John F Kennedy, Walt Whitman, Al Jolson, Bob Dylan, Thomas Hardy, Miles Davis, Bob Dylan, Stravinsky, Confucius, Kirk Kerkorian and Paul McCartney
Ideal Jobs Include:Geminis are well-suited to be explorers, writers, merchants, translators, publicists or talk show hosts.
Lucky Numbers:3, 12, 21, 30, 48, 47
Planet: Mercury
Star Stone: Moss Agate
Element: Air
Most Compatible With: Libra, Aquarius, or Gemini
Geminis are curious and intellectual by nature. They are forever exploring people and places in their quest to attain knowledge. Bright, witty and outgoing, the Gemini charm guarantees they will be the center of attention in any crowd. Matching their intellect is a well-developed imagination.
The duality of the Gemini personality can make it difficult to know just whom you are dealing with. They sometimes appear fickle, flighty and susceptible to whim. These traits often make it difficult for Geminis to finish much of what they start. The other side of their dual personalities is they have an innate ability to multi-task, which is good since their interests are many and varied.
The Gemini Intellect is the key to their being, and provides the foundation for their skills in the art of communicating. Geminis are not born leaders and will usually defer that position to another. However, their clear thinking and creativity allow them to contribute positively to any project. While Geminis love to talk, they also make for a great audience. Overall, their light spirit and interest in almost everything make them wonderful company.
The Gemini In Love:
Geminis love intelligent conversation, so the way to the Geminian heart is through the head. The Geminian is best involved with a steadier, stronger personality who will tolerate and enjoy their butterfly socializing, yet still be there for them when the cards have all blown down. They are willing to experiment with all manner of relationship styles; and as long as their partner is articulate, tolerant, exciting, adventurous and willing to discuss their exploits in detail, they will be ecstatic.
Because Gemini is not above straying, they are rather divorce prone. However, typically they think the joys of an occasional adventure more than make up for the risks involved. Geminis are exciting companions who crave excitement and variety. They assume they will be able to easily smooth over troubled waters with their silver tongue--they are tolerant of the peccadilloes of their partners, so long as they are not stolid or boring.
Famous Gemini Include:
H.R.H. Philip (Duke of Edinburgh), Sir Arthur Conan-Doyle, Marilyn Monroe, Judy Garland, Bob Hope, John F Kennedy, Walt Whitman, Al Jolson, Bob Dylan, Thomas Hardy, Miles Davis, Bob Dylan, Stravinsky, Confucius, Kirk Kerkorian and Paul McCartney
Ideal Jobs Include:Geminis are well-suited to be explorers, writers, merchants, translators, publicists or talk show hosts.
Lucky Numbers:3, 12, 21, 30, 48, 47
Planet: Mercury
Star Stone: Moss Agate
Element: Air
Most Compatible With: Libra, Aquarius, or Gemini
Symbol : Twins
Ruling Planet: Mercury
Keywords: Adaptable, communicative, restless
Polarity: Positive
Duality or Gender: Masculine
Element: Air
Quality: Mutable
Body Areas: Arms and shoulders, nerves
Countries: The United States, Wales, Armenia, Belgium and Lower Egypt
Cities: New York, San Francisco, Versailles, London and Melbourne
Stone: Agate
Color: All bright colors, yellows
Similarity to Chinese Sign : HORSE
ZODIAC - The TAURUS (April 19 - May 19)
Patient, Reliable, Warmhearted, Loving, Persistent, Determined, Placid and Security Loving, Jealous, Possessive, Resentful, Inflexible, Self-Indulgent and Greedy
Taureans love pleasure and material gain. For them the outcome is all that matters, and it only matters if they have gained. They are physically sensual and tender, and love to bask in excess. Their ultimate pursuit is "the good life" in every sense of the phrase.
Like the bull that represents them, Taureans are often seen as stubborn. However, what some see as stubbornness is actually the Taurean's will to stay their chosen course to reach their goals. Bulls are pragmatic and dependable, and left to trudge along at their own speed usually attain that which they seek.
Being born in the House of Venus, it really should come as no surprise these self-indulgent pleasure seekers are also great lovers of the arts and all things beautiful. They need to be surrounded by beauty to be happy. Taureans also value tradition, stability and loyalty. At times they may be very sentimental, emotional. Conversely, there is nothing impractical about the slightly conservative Taurean. They are not risk takers. Nor are they likely to fall for get rich quick schemes. While the ways of the stable Taurean may not suit others, they ensure these Bulls will find the earthly rewards they seek.
The Taurean In Love:
Taureans are deeply romantic and very loyal. They value the harmony a happy home life creates. They will go to extremes to keep their mate happy, which, when it comes to love, is no sacrifice to the sensuous Bull. The Taurean need for the good life is equaled by their need to share that life with someone special.
Sexually, Taureans are straightforward and down-to-earth. A no-nonsense approach is favored and too much verbalizing or complex fantasizing is not a Taurean trait. This does not mean they are not capable of feeling love. Indeed, the depth of a Taurean's passion may not be understood by others. Music or other forms of sensual, non-verbal expression will strike a chord in the Taurean nature. Very faithful to friends and family, Taureans prefer long-lasting relationships and seek to build strong alliances, although they can be misled by their sensual natures, especially when young.
Taureans love pleasure and material gain. For them the outcome is all that matters, and it only matters if they have gained. They are physically sensual and tender, and love to bask in excess. Their ultimate pursuit is "the good life" in every sense of the phrase.
Like the bull that represents them, Taureans are often seen as stubborn. However, what some see as stubbornness is actually the Taurean's will to stay their chosen course to reach their goals. Bulls are pragmatic and dependable, and left to trudge along at their own speed usually attain that which they seek.
Being born in the House of Venus, it really should come as no surprise these self-indulgent pleasure seekers are also great lovers of the arts and all things beautiful. They need to be surrounded by beauty to be happy. Taureans also value tradition, stability and loyalty. At times they may be very sentimental, emotional. Conversely, there is nothing impractical about the slightly conservative Taurean. They are not risk takers. Nor are they likely to fall for get rich quick schemes. While the ways of the stable Taurean may not suit others, they ensure these Bulls will find the earthly rewards they seek.
The Taurean In Love:
Taureans are deeply romantic and very loyal. They value the harmony a happy home life creates. They will go to extremes to keep their mate happy, which, when it comes to love, is no sacrifice to the sensuous Bull. The Taurean need for the good life is equaled by their need to share that life with someone special.
Sexually, Taureans are straightforward and down-to-earth. A no-nonsense approach is favored and too much verbalizing or complex fantasizing is not a Taurean trait. This does not mean they are not capable of feeling love. Indeed, the depth of a Taurean's passion may not be understood by others. Music or other forms of sensual, non-verbal expression will strike a chord in the Taurean nature. Very faithful to friends and family, Taureans prefer long-lasting relationships and seek to build strong alliances, although they can be misled by their sensual natures, especially when young.
Famous Taureans Include:
Fred Astaire, Sigmund Freud, William Shakespeare, Barbara Streisand, Malcolm X, Leonardo de Vinci, Willie Nelson, Orson Welles, Katharine Hepburn, George Lucas, William Hewlett, Cher and Adolf Hitler.
Ideal Jobs Include:Taureans are well-suited to be bankers, artists, accountants, musicians, gardeners or any profession that requires patience, determination and a strong beauty aesthetic.
Lucky Numbers:2, 11, 29, 29, 37, 56
Planet: Venus
Star Stone: Emerald
Element: Earth
Symbol : Taurus
Ruling Planet: Venus
Keywords: Warm hearted, possessive, charming
Polarity: Negative
Duality or Gender: Feminine
Element: Earth
Quality: Fixed
Body Areas: Neck and throat; thyroid gland
Countries: Egypt, Cyprus, Ireland, Iran, Switzerland, Greek Islands and Capri
Cities: Dublin, St Louis, Bologna, Eastbourne, Hastings and Lucerne
Stone: Emerald
Colors: Pale Blues, pinks and various shades of green
Similarity to Chinese Sign : SNAKE
ZODIAC - The ARIES (March 20 - April 18)
Adventurous, Energetic, Pioneering, Courageous, Enthusiastic, Confident, Dynamic and Quick-Witted, Selfish, Quick-Tempered, Impulsive, Impatient, Foolhardy and a bit of a Daredevil
Arians see themselves as consummate leaders. While they are excellent at initiating and overseeing projects, don't rely on them to be down in the pits actually getting the work done. Arians are not afraid of being on the cutting edge of things. Energetic Arians love the opportunities and challenges each new day brings.
Arians are blunt and outspoken--often to the point that more sensitive souls around them will become alienated. Arians are intrepid and aggressive. When needed, they can almost always muster the inner-strength to face any challenge. Always competitive, Arians never lose sight of what is in their best interest.
Arians are often inclined to be egotistical and domineering. They much prefer action to allowing things to settle on their own. They are never afraid to take chances or follow their impulses. When their actions fail to produce the expected results, they still pride themselves on at least trying. They love exploring new ground. Indeed they expect to be first to go anywhere new. While Arians may not be for everyone, their courage and willingness to initiate action make them an asset to any team project.
The Arian In Love:
When Arians want to, they can be very charming and hard to resist by the opposite sex. People born under the Aries sign need to harness their powerful energies, or even rein them in a little, so those with whom they would like to spend time are not overwhelmed by their advances.
In a relationship, Arians assume the role of motivator and want to be control. The Aries driving force compels those born under its influence to become the leading light in any co-operative venture. Sometimes it seems they want to defeat their partners, not love them.
Arians are enthusiastic and adventurous lovers. They will always want to push to take their lovemaking to new plateaus. Their partners can sometimes be overwhelmed by this spirited approach. Arians love to experiment and to take things to the limit, so, roll over Kama Sutra, the Arian lover is re-writing it all from scratch!
Famous Aries Include:
Charlie Chaplin, Marlon Brando, Bette Davis, Thomas Jefferson, Houdini, Wilhelm Reich, Elton John, Aretha Franklin, Gloria Steinem, Leonard Nimoy, Cy Young, W. C. Fields, James Clark, and Otto von Bismarck.
Ideal Jobs Include:Aries is well-suited to become a fire-fighter, surgeon, mechanic, dentist, professional athlete and entrepreneur.
Lucky Numbers:1, 10 ,19, 28, 37, 46, 55
Planet: Mars
Star Stone: Diamond
Element: Fire
Most Compatible With: Leo or Sagittarius
Symbol : Ram
Ruling Planet: Mars
Keywords: Assertive, forthright, determined
Polarity: Positive
Duality or Gender: Masculine
Element: Fire
Quality: Cardinal
Body Area: Head
Countries: England, Denmark, France, Germany, Japan, Poland and Syria
Cities: Naples, Florence, Brunswick (England)
Stone: Diamond
Color: Red
Similarity to Chinese Sign : DRAGON
Arians see themselves as consummate leaders. While they are excellent at initiating and overseeing projects, don't rely on them to be down in the pits actually getting the work done. Arians are not afraid of being on the cutting edge of things. Energetic Arians love the opportunities and challenges each new day brings.
Arians are blunt and outspoken--often to the point that more sensitive souls around them will become alienated. Arians are intrepid and aggressive. When needed, they can almost always muster the inner-strength to face any challenge. Always competitive, Arians never lose sight of what is in their best interest.
Arians are often inclined to be egotistical and domineering. They much prefer action to allowing things to settle on their own. They are never afraid to take chances or follow their impulses. When their actions fail to produce the expected results, they still pride themselves on at least trying. They love exploring new ground. Indeed they expect to be first to go anywhere new. While Arians may not be for everyone, their courage and willingness to initiate action make them an asset to any team project.
The Arian In Love:
When Arians want to, they can be very charming and hard to resist by the opposite sex. People born under the Aries sign need to harness their powerful energies, or even rein them in a little, so those with whom they would like to spend time are not overwhelmed by their advances.
In a relationship, Arians assume the role of motivator and want to be control. The Aries driving force compels those born under its influence to become the leading light in any co-operative venture. Sometimes it seems they want to defeat their partners, not love them.
Arians are enthusiastic and adventurous lovers. They will always want to push to take their lovemaking to new plateaus. Their partners can sometimes be overwhelmed by this spirited approach. Arians love to experiment and to take things to the limit, so, roll over Kama Sutra, the Arian lover is re-writing it all from scratch!
Famous Aries Include:
Charlie Chaplin, Marlon Brando, Bette Davis, Thomas Jefferson, Houdini, Wilhelm Reich, Elton John, Aretha Franklin, Gloria Steinem, Leonard Nimoy, Cy Young, W. C. Fields, James Clark, and Otto von Bismarck.
Ideal Jobs Include:Aries is well-suited to become a fire-fighter, surgeon, mechanic, dentist, professional athlete and entrepreneur.
Lucky Numbers:1, 10 ,19, 28, 37, 46, 55
Planet: Mars
Star Stone: Diamond
Element: Fire
Most Compatible With: Leo or Sagittarius
Symbol : Ram
Ruling Planet: Mars
Keywords: Assertive, forthright, determined
Polarity: Positive
Duality or Gender: Masculine
Element: Fire
Quality: Cardinal
Body Area: Head
Countries: England, Denmark, France, Germany, Japan, Poland and Syria
Cities: Naples, Florence, Brunswick (England)
Stone: Diamond
Color: Red
Similarity to Chinese Sign : DRAGON
ZODIAC - The PISCES (Feb. 19 - Mar. 19)
Imaginative, Sensitive, Compassionate, Kind, Selfless, Unworldly, Intuitive and Sympathetic, Escapist And Idealistic, Secretive And Vague, Weak-Willed And Easily Led
Pisceans are spiritual beings ruled by their feelings. Their journey through life will involve much soul searching and retreat into that hazy world which exists between the real and the unreal. While they are very happy traveling the paths of their inner world, the Piscean compassion and need to help others will ensure they return to the real world regularly.
Pisceans tend to go where life takes them. If they do not like their current direction, they simply retreat into themselves until their direction changes. One of the great dangers for the Pisceans is they sometimes become so involved in their dreams and fantasies they find it difficult to separate fact from fantasy. Another danger is that their docile nature makes it easy for others to take advantage of them.
Pisceans must not allow themselves to become detached from those around them, because they will become depressed, pessimistic and languid. The gentle Pisceans are usually far too shy to tout their talents, which in the arts may be formidable. Their compassion and empathy seems to be without bounds, which makes them a great ally for anyone.
The Pisces In Love:
Pisces really need to be needed. They suffer from fear of rejection and low self-esteem. Pisceans are tender and caring, but frequently become the victims of domineering and uncaring partners. They submerge themselves in the experiences of their mates. If their partner is strong and caring, the lucky Piscean will soar to new heights. Conversely, if they find themselves in an unfulfilling relationship, they will prolong the agony--feeling they must deserve the misery—-and assume the role of martyr.
Pisceans do best when involved with a solid personality who will enjoy their romantic fantasies. There is no more loyal and caring lover than a Piscean, but their need for emotional and sensual reassurance sometimes leads to flirtations. Pisceans are the most loving and giving of the signs, their ability to select an inappropriate partner is legendary. In the right relationship, their sexuality will blossom and become something of an art form, especially as they get a little older, more experienced and more confident.
Famous Pisceans Include:
George Washington, Albert Einstein, George Frederick Handel, Elizabeth Taylor, Cindy Crawford, Kurt Cobain, David Gilmour, Gloria Vanderbilt, Gutenberg, Sibil Leek, Ralph Nader, Edgar Cayce, Sidney Poitier, and Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Ideal Jobs Include:Pisceans are well-suited to careers as veterinarians, biologists, artists, doctors, musicians, psychologists and mediums.
Lucky Numbers:12, 21, 39, 48, 57
Planet: Neptune
Star Stone: Moonstone
Element: Water
Symbol : Fishes
Ruling Planet: Neptune
Keywords: Artistic, impressionable, ambiguous
Polarity: Negative
Duality or Gender: Feminine
Element: Water
Quality: Mutable
Body Areas: Feet
Countries: Mediterranean islands, Scandinavia, Portugal and Sahara
Cities: Alexandria, Santiago de Compostela and Seville
Stone: Moonstone
Color: Soft sea-green
Similarity to Chinese Sign: RABBIT
Pisceans are spiritual beings ruled by their feelings. Their journey through life will involve much soul searching and retreat into that hazy world which exists between the real and the unreal. While they are very happy traveling the paths of their inner world, the Piscean compassion and need to help others will ensure they return to the real world regularly.
Pisceans tend to go where life takes them. If they do not like their current direction, they simply retreat into themselves until their direction changes. One of the great dangers for the Pisceans is they sometimes become so involved in their dreams and fantasies they find it difficult to separate fact from fantasy. Another danger is that their docile nature makes it easy for others to take advantage of them.
Pisceans must not allow themselves to become detached from those around them, because they will become depressed, pessimistic and languid. The gentle Pisceans are usually far too shy to tout their talents, which in the arts may be formidable. Their compassion and empathy seems to be without bounds, which makes them a great ally for anyone.
The Pisces In Love:
Pisces really need to be needed. They suffer from fear of rejection and low self-esteem. Pisceans are tender and caring, but frequently become the victims of domineering and uncaring partners. They submerge themselves in the experiences of their mates. If their partner is strong and caring, the lucky Piscean will soar to new heights. Conversely, if they find themselves in an unfulfilling relationship, they will prolong the agony--feeling they must deserve the misery—-and assume the role of martyr.
Pisceans do best when involved with a solid personality who will enjoy their romantic fantasies. There is no more loyal and caring lover than a Piscean, but their need for emotional and sensual reassurance sometimes leads to flirtations. Pisceans are the most loving and giving of the signs, their ability to select an inappropriate partner is legendary. In the right relationship, their sexuality will blossom and become something of an art form, especially as they get a little older, more experienced and more confident.
Famous Pisceans Include:
George Washington, Albert Einstein, George Frederick Handel, Elizabeth Taylor, Cindy Crawford, Kurt Cobain, David Gilmour, Gloria Vanderbilt, Gutenberg, Sibil Leek, Ralph Nader, Edgar Cayce, Sidney Poitier, and Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Ideal Jobs Include:Pisceans are well-suited to careers as veterinarians, biologists, artists, doctors, musicians, psychologists and mediums.
Lucky Numbers:12, 21, 39, 48, 57
Planet: Neptune
Star Stone: Moonstone
Element: Water
Symbol : Fishes
Ruling Planet: Neptune
Keywords: Artistic, impressionable, ambiguous
Polarity: Negative
Duality or Gender: Feminine
Element: Water
Quality: Mutable
Body Areas: Feet
Countries: Mediterranean islands, Scandinavia, Portugal and Sahara
Cities: Alexandria, Santiago de Compostela and Seville
Stone: Moonstone
Color: Soft sea-green
Similarity to Chinese Sign: RABBIT
ZODIAC - The AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18 )
Friendly, Humanitarian, Honest, Loyal, Original, Inventive, Independent and Intellectual, Intractable, Contrary, Perverse, Unpredictable, Unemotional and Detached
Aquarians tend to be entrancing, exciting and unpredictable, yet somehow strangely detached from their surroundings. They are one of the zodiac's most eccentric personalities. They are seekers of the new, unusual, and challenging which leads them in many directions. Aquarians may try many things but without stability they may master none. Aquarians are philanthropic and humanitarian by nature. They see their calling as making the world a better place for all of us.
Adventurous Aquarians are not averse to risk taking. Their optimism and positive outlook, combined with idealism and the need to break new ground can lead them into quite unfamiliar territory--not that this bothers them, for they are willing to follow any new lead to its conclusion.
Aquarians are the bearers of originality, idealism and cosmic consciousness-with which they intend to drown materialism and tedium and injustice. Although Aquarians are compassionate and sympathetic to the needs of others, they do like things to go their way. Indeed, they can become very temperamental when things do not go their way. To the Aquarian the freedom to roam and explore is all-important. They hate to be tied down. These iconoclastic visionaries' style often reflects social trends that will become the standard far in our future.
The Aquarian In Love:
Aquarians tend to be entrancing, exciting and unpredictable, yet somehow strangely detached from their surroundings. They are one of the zodiac's most eccentric personalities. They are seekers of the new, unusual, and challenging which leads them in many directions. Aquarians may try many things but without stability they may master none. Aquarians are philanthropic and humanitarian by nature. They see their calling as making the world a better place for all of us.
Adventurous Aquarians are not averse to risk taking. Their optimism and positive outlook, combined with idealism and the need to break new ground can lead them into quite unfamiliar territory--not that this bothers them, for they are willing to follow any new lead to its conclusion.
Aquarians are the bearers of originality, idealism and cosmic consciousness-with which they intend to drown materialism and tedium and injustice. Although Aquarians are compassionate and sympathetic to the needs of others, they do like things to go their way. Indeed, they can become very temperamental when things do not go their way. To the Aquarian the freedom to roam and explore is all-important. They hate to be tied down. These iconoclastic visionaries' style often reflects social trends that will become the standard far in our future.
The Aquarian In Love:
One of the Aquarian's deepest needs is for a satisfying, complementary relationship, which gives them freedom and tolerance along with mental and physical stimulation. With the right person they will be a passionate, uninhibited and understanding lover intent on maintaining their bond for life. Receptivity will calm Aquarians' rebellious tendencies. Unlike many, Aquarians rarely feel any pangs of jealousy.
Their sex-drive is not unduly strong, but their need to explore and be stimulated sometimes gives others the impression their desires are unconquerable. They can be very playful and attentive lovers and will put a great deal of energy into satisfying their partners. Aquarians are open to all forms of experimentation (in the pursuit of new knowledge, of course) and the field of sexuality and relationships is no exception. Even though deep down they seek security, their love of originality and exploring unusual new fields of endeavor gives them an attraction for partners with interesting, unconventional minds and bodies.
Famous Aquarians Include:
Charles Darwin, Thomas Alva Edison, Vanessa Redgrave, Frederick Douglas, Oprah Winfrey, Charles Dickens, John McEnroe, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Jack Nicklaus, Ronald Reagan, Abraham Lincoln, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Telly Savalas, Virginia Woolf, Babe Ruth, Mia Farrow, Carl Icahn, and Yoko Ono
Ideal Jobs Include:Aquarians are well-suited to careers as inventors, politicians, writers, scientists, astronauts, artists and astrologers.
Lucky Numbers:11, 29, 38, 47, 56
Planet: Uranus
Star Stone: Turquoise
Element: Air
Most Compatible With: Gemini, Libra or Aquarius
Symbol: Water
Ruling Planet: Uranus
Keywords: Humanitarian, eccentric, independent
Polarity: Positive
Duality or Gender: Masculine
Element: Air
Quality: Fixed
Body Areas: Circulation, ankles
Countries: Ethiopia, Iran, Russia, Poland and Sweden
Cities: Moscow, Hamburg, Salzburg and St. Petersburg
Stones: Amethyst, aquamarine
Color: Electric Blue
Similarity to Chinese Sign : Tiger
Telegrams
- A husband, while he is on a business trip to a hill station sends a telegram to his wife "I wish you were here." The message received by wife, "I wishyou were her."
- A wife with near maturing pregnancy goes to railway station to return to her husband. At the reservation counter, while her turn came, it was the last ticket. Taking pity on a very old lady next to her in the queue, she offered her berth to the old lady and sent a telegram to her husband which reached as, "Shall be coming tomorrow, heavy rush in the train, gave birth to an old lady."
- A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams, which the father receives as, "Father, your daughter has been successful in BED."
- A man wants to celebrate his wife's Birthday by throwing a party. So he goes to order a birthday cake. The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake. Well he thinks for a while and says let's put, "you are not getting older you are getting better".The salesman asks "how do you want me to put it?" The man says, Well put "You are not getting older", at the top and You are getting better" at the bottom. The real fun didn't start until the cake was opened the entire party watched the message decorated on the cake "You are not getting older at the top, You are getting better at the bottom".
- A man from Agra went to Ajmer. His wife was in her parent's house in Delhi. When the man went to Ajmer, he asked his servant to send a telegram to his wife indicating about his trip to Ajmer. He sent a telegram. When the wife received the telegram, she fainted. It was written 'sethji aaj mar gaye!"
!@#$%!@#$%!@#$%&!@#$%!@#$%!@#$%&!@#$%!@#$%!@#$%
A Husbands True Feelings
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful ... CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful ... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking!Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."
"Careful ... CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful ... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking!Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."
"Kya aap paachvi paas se tez hai "...
IF
1 = 5
2 = 25
3 = 125
4 = 625
5 = ?
5 = ?
If you get the answer, please mail me at gsspradeep@gmail.com
Hope to hear from you soon...
*Hint: Do Not complicate things in life *
You'll love this!!!
After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and He doesn't travel light), the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb.
'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver,' Would you please take your Seat so we can leave?
''Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today.
''I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.
'Who's going to tell? Besides, there might be something extra in it for you,' says the Pope with a smile. Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel.
The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.(Remember, he's a German Pope.)
'Please slow down, Your Holiness!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. 'Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license -- and my job!' moans the driver.The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.
'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher. The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.
'So bust him,' says the Chief.'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed, ' All the more reason!'
''No, I mean really important,' said the cop with a bit of persistence.
The Chief then asked, 'Who ya got there, the Mayor?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
Chief: 'The Governor?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
Chief: 'The President?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
'Well,' said the Chief, 'Who is it?'
Cop: 'I think it's GOD !!!!!!!!'
The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, 'What makes you think it'sGod?'
Cop: 'He's got the Pope as a chauffeur
'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver,' Would you please take your Seat so we can leave?
''Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today.
''I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.
'Who's going to tell? Besides, there might be something extra in it for you,' says the Pope with a smile. Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel.
The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.(Remember, he's a German Pope.)
'Please slow down, Your Holiness!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. 'Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license -- and my job!' moans the driver.The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.
'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher. The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.
'So bust him,' says the Chief.'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed, ' All the more reason!'
''No, I mean really important,' said the cop with a bit of persistence.
The Chief then asked, 'Who ya got there, the Mayor?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
Chief: 'The Governor?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
Chief: 'The President?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
'Well,' said the Chief, 'Who is it?'
Cop: 'I think it's GOD !!!!!!!!'
The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, 'What makes you think it'sGod?'
Cop: 'He's got the Pope as a chauffeur
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