I've learned...

I've Learned...
That when you plan to get even with someone,
you are only letting that person continue to hurt you...

I've Learned...
That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to ,
surround myself with people smarter than I am...

I've Learned...
That everyone you meet,
deserves to be greeted with a smile...

I've Learned...
That Love, not Time,
Heals all wounds...

I've Learned...
That no one is perfect,
until you fall in love with them...

I've Learned...
That life is tough,
But I'm tougher...

I've Learned...
That oppurtunites are never lost;
someone will take the ones you miss...

I've Learned...
That one should keep his words both soft and tender,
because tomorrow he may have to eat them...

I've Learned...
That a smile is an inexpensive way,
to improve your looks...

I've Learned...
That I can't choose how I feel,
but I can choose what I do about it...

I've Learned...
That everyone wants to live on top of a mountain,
but all happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it...

I've Learned...
That it is best to give advice in only two circumstances,
when it is requested and when it is a life threatening situation...

I've Learned...
That the less time I have to work with,
the more things I get done...

I've Learned...
That the best classroom in the world is,
at the feet of an elderly person...

I've Learned...
That when you're in love,
it shows...

I've Learned...
That justone person saying to me, "You've made my day!"
makes my day...

*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!

One Day...

If one day you feel like crying
Call me
I don’t promise you that I will make you laugh
But I can cry with you

If one day you want to run away
Don’t be afraid to call me
I don’t promise to ask you to stay,
But I can run with you

If one day you don’t want to listen to anybody
Call me
I promise to be very quiet
But,

If one day you call
And there is no answer

Come fast to see me,
Perhaps I need you

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Sardarrrr....

Banta: Kal Muje 10 logo ne Peeta.
Santa: Phir tune kya kiya?
Banta: Maine kaha salon ek-ek karke aao.
Santa: Phir?
Banta: Phir kya, Salon ne ek-ek karke dubara Peeta !

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Santa ne PCO pe jate hi PCO wale ko 2 thappad laga diye. Socho kyon?
Because PCO ke bahar likha tha, dial karne se pahle 2 lagaye...

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Santa, Banta & Bobby were going on a motorcycle. Policeman gives hand to stop.
Santa shouted: Oye pagal, pehle hi 3 bethe hain tu kahan baithega?

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Santa talking on phone.
Banta: Kis se baat kar rahe ho?
Santa: Biwi se. Banta: Itne pyar se...?
Santa: Tumhari hai.

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Banta joins army, given AK 47. He's puzzled & asks Major: Sir, yeh bandook ki nali samne rakhun ya ulta?
Major: Kisi bhi taraf rakho, faida desh ka hi hoga.

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Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
Santa: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.

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Banta: Meri biwi mujhe chod ke chali gayi.
Santa: Tu uska khyal nahi rakhta hoga.
Banta: Arre yaar, Sagi behan ki tarah rakhta tha.

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Daku Mangal Singh Banta ke ghar mein ghusa aur bola: Sona kahan hai, jaldi bataao
Banta: Pura ghar khali hai malko, jithe marzi so jao!

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Santa: I can kiss u without even touching u.
Gal: U can't
Santa: Lagi 10-10 ki
Gal: Ok
Santa kisses her lips
Gal: Touch kar liya, touch kar liya
Santa: Aah lai 10 Rs

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Santa n Banta were watchin a cricket match. When Dhoni hits a boundary.
Banta: Kya Goal mara.
Santa: Raha na bewakoof ka bewakoof, Goal ismein nahin cricket mein hota hai

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Few Thoughts...

Thought 1

When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?

Thought 2

The average man's life consists of:
Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going,
Forty years of having his wife ask the same question; and at the end, the mourners wondering too.

Thought 3

A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, "If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.
He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.

The man asked. "Who are you?" "I am your guardian angel," the voice answered. "Oh, yeah?" the man asked "And where the hell were you when I got married?"


Thought 4

Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed some thing in his hand.
Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride.The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something. So he announced "Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life."
Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, "My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to me." The whole audience including the priest erupted in laughter.......... all except the poor Groom!!

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